"Haii naku! Ang bruhang yun! Baka akala nya!" Zea is still fuming mad when we reach the hotel
While Kaela is just seating and eating.
"Zea sorry. 'Wag ka na mahighblood please." sabi ko
"Anong wag mahighblood?! Ansarap sarap sabunutan nung babaeng yun kanina! May paharang harang pa sya! Baka akala nya!I can substitute her face with the sweep! Leche sya!" Zea
"Zea, masama sa'yo ang magalit. Mahihighblood ka na naman!" Pakiusap ko kay Zea
She just rolled her eyes at me.
Kaela then poured an ice cold cola and gave it to Zea. Thank God! It calmed Zea.
"Dapat ko bang ipakilala ang mga bata sa kanya?" tanong ko sa dalawa
"Ready ka na ba?" tanong ni Zea
I shook my head. Hindi pa. Hindi ata ako magiging ready.
"Edi hindi." Zea
"Alam mo kasi Elle, sa dapat, oo dapat niyang malaman na may anak kayo, dapat nya makilala, pero dapat sa panahong handa na kayong lahat. Yung wala na masakit. Pero sa ngayon, hilumin mo muna yan. Hindi ka makakagawa ng desisyon kung broken ka pa rin." Zea
"You've been broken hearted for so long, wag mo na yang tambayan." Kaela
I sighed.
That day exhausted me so much. As I look on my sleeping twins, I realized that my friends are right. Maybe I need to move on to be able to heal my wounded broken heart. Siguro nga noong panahong nakilala ko si Seb, I was too vulnerable healing my broken heart, my judgement and my reasoning were too overshadowed by that anger and pain. But sadly, then it made my broken heart more wounded.
Pero kung ano pa mang kamalian ko yun, hindi naging malupit si Lord kasi andito ang dalawang cute na bata, ang makakasama ko forever. Ang magmamahal sa akin at mamahalin ko nang higit pa sa aking sarili.
"Maaaaa" mahinang tawag ng natutulog na si PJ.
"Kamukhang kamukha mo ang ama mo pero alam kong sa inyong dalawa, ikaw ang di kakayaning mabuhay ng wala ako." bulong ko habang yakap yakap ang anak ko
(an: sleeping Pj)
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Nagising ako kinabukasan sa hagikgik ni Em. Para bang may kausap. Wala na rin ang kayakap ko kagabi. Pagsilip ko, ang dalawang bata hayun at nakaharap sa tablet, kausap si Oliver.
"Good Morning." Bati ko
"Good Morning Maaaaaa!!!! I love you! nikakausap namin si Tito Oli, mimiss nya daw kami." bati ni Em at hinalikan ako
"Good Morning Kuya." bati ko kay Pj na walang karea-reaksyon
"Hi Oli, good morning!"
"It's good afternoon here already. How are you?"
"Oh goodafternoon Oli." I sighed
"I've got details from Em. Are you okay? You want me to go there?"
Oh Oli, why didn't I met you first.
"We are fine Oli, we'll go to Disneyland today then go back home."
"You sure you are okay?"
"I am. Thank you Oli."
"Anything for you Love."
I smiled at him.
Oliver's been there with us since the day he met my little Em. Mula nuon ay hindi na sya nawala sa buhay namin. He had been there to look after my kids everytime I am busy. He was there when my children needs someone to play with. He was there when my children started nursery. He was present in my children's family days. He was with us when Em started her modeling career, he was even her biggest fan. Everytime I am busy, he was there to take care of the kids. He was there to calm Em from crying because of the movies. He was there when Pj wanted to play. He has been my team mate in raising up the kids. Mas naging magulang pa nga sya sa akin habang lumalaki na ang mga anak ko. He had been nothing but my children's father.
Oliver was the man I am looking forward to keep. He was that man who treasured me more than his own self. He made me feel that I am more than deserving to be respected. That feeling I never felt since I that day I knew I was pregnant.
It wasn't just once that I heard how people disgust me being pregnant without a partner. I just can't forget how my parents leave the religous community because my dad won't stand how their friends judge me.
Now I am back to that feeling. That regret I will have all my life. I was once a mistress and that was the worst that ever happened to me. But seeing my two children, beautiful and healthy, I just want to forgive him. But I don't like the thought of my children knowing him because it will only make them bastards.
Pero higit sa lahat, ang pinagaalala ko, ay si Oliver. Anything that would favor Seb would hurt Oli so much and Oli don't deserve anything that would hurt him.
"Maaaaa!! Madidisneyland na daw tayo! Natawag si Nang Kaela. Ready na daw sila!"
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Ngumiti ako sa mga anak ko. At pumunta na nga kami sa Disneyland. Ang masasayang halakhak at kontentong mukha ng mga anak ko ang nagpapaalala sa aking wala akong dapat pagsisihan. Since they come, I had nothing but the best. They are my luck, they are the greatest gifts I received.
Without them, I might not know how is it to be truly happy and contented. Without them, I may not able to know of how much strong of a woman I am.
