It's been almost a month mula nang makabalik kami dito sa Manila. Em is still having her modelling career and she was now being trained as an actress. Finally, may handler na nakakaintindi ng mga pangangailangan ng batang artista.
Luckily, kasama na si Em sa isang kid show twing linggo. She had been loved by the people kaya indemand sya. Her handler said that her real name is a good showbiz name so we sticked with Eiffel Suarez as her screen name.
Pero simula nang magkita kami ulit ni Seb isang buwan na ang nakakaraan, hindi na nga kami natahimik pa. Nariyan yung may dumarating na bulaklak sa opisina at mga package na laruan libro at damit para sa mga bata. Hindi naman ako natatakot kay Seb, ang akin ay nahihirapan akong mag-isip. Paano ko sasabihin sa mga anak ko na si Seb ang Papa nila? Paano ko ipapaliwanag kung bakit hindi kami magkasama gaya ng mga Ninong at Ninang nila? Paano ko sasabihin kay Oliver ang lahat nang hindi sya nasasaktan?
I sighed.
"Maam, may mga regalo na naman po at bulaklak. "
"Sige Angel, ireceive mo na lang."
"Okay lang po kayo?"
"Hindi ko din alam."
"Kung ano man po yan, kaya nyo po yan Maam."
"Maraming Salamat Angel."
"At may isa pa nga pala Maam,"
I look at Angel
She smiled at me and open the door. Then I saw Oli holding sunflower pot on his hand.
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"Andami mo na ata manliligaw ngayon. Kakabahan na ba ako?"
"Oh Oli." I hugged him
"Can I invite you for lunch Maám?"
"Oh sure. The kids will be with Mom and Dad."
"Oh, I thought it can be a family day."
"We can have a date then."
"We'll, that doesn't sound bad."
I tiptoed and kissed him.
"I'll just fix my table."
He willingly wait for me while he was busy talking to Angel outside my office. How could this guy be this kind and loving?
We had our lunch somewhere far from the city. He brought me somewhere I can have a little peace.
"Would you like to ask me questions?"
I shook my head. I want to ask but I can't. He grew up without a father too. Like my children.
"I did not know about my father until I was 10. While growing up, Mama dodges all questions about my father. When I was 10, I asked Mama his name. I said I won't look for him, I said I won't search even a single thing about him. I just want to know if I am human. That I was produced by an egg cell and sperm cell through fertilization. "
"Oli!!!"
"But that's the truth. I was learning how babies were born that time and I realized, I don't have a father. Then, Mama gave me his name. "
"Did you meet him?"
He shook his head.
"Because I promised Mama I won't look for him, I did not. I did not even searched how he looks like."
He sighed.
"But until now, I still have those questions. I am still asking how was he. Will he be a good father? Will he accept me? Will he be those I've seen in movies? I really don't know. And that makes my life feeling lacking even I have more than enough."
"Why didn't you look for him?"
"Because like you, my mother is hurting. And I'd rather be the one to feel the pain than my mother."
I look far.
"Actually, Mama's sister told me that my father doesn't want me at all. But I am still thankful, without him, I am still an unfertilized semen."
Sinamaan ko na lang sya ng tingin.
"But kidding aside, if I was on your shoes, I will let them meet each other. Because if I would be given a chance, I would want to meet my father."
"Oli..." I held his hands
"I am pleased that you are thinking of me my love, well I hope I ain't assuming on this part but, let's not be selfish my love. People who loves knows how to give love."
"How could you be this kind Oli?"
"I was thought how to love properly. So please, let go of that anger."
My tears then started to fall. Ang kwento ng pagiging ina ko, ay isang sikreto. Tanging si Kaela at Zea lamang ang may alam. And now, Oli deserve to know my piece of truth.
I heaved a deep breath.
"I was once a mistress Oli. I've been a mistress but I didn't know that I was. I've been blinded by too much love, I trusted too much. He made me a mistress, without me knowing. He made a woman less than I should be. He made me more broken and now if I let him meet my children, what will that make us?"
He hugged me.
"Please don't judge yourself. It is not okay. Try to understand yourself and your thoughts. No one has the right the judge you. Even yourself. "
"But I was..."
"Shhhh. Talk to him and please find it in your heart to forgive yourself. That pain scars so much and it's never pretty. Forgive My Love. Forgive him and everything else follows."
"Will you be there?"
"I am and always be."
I would never find another man like Oliver. He was one of the few people who have a golden heart. He was one of the few who sees good in all things around him. I am so lucky I have him, I just hope we'll never part.
