Elle's POV
Lord, please no. Please help us, please help my Sebastien. Please let him live for our children, for me and for our family. Please Lord.
I was shaking like crazy on our travel from Barcelona to Paris. Holding him in that state traumatized the hell out of me. I think I can't even breath to the point that my heart stopped beating too.
And the most painful of all is the truth that all I can do is pray. I regret it so much that I chose to run away rather than stay. I've been so selfish my whole life and kept my children by myself, I've been so selfish that even a little of my honesty and trust, I failed to give him too.
Serena arranged everything and picked us up from Barcelona to bring us urgently to Paris. His doctors attended him immediately and brought him inside the operating room. His doctor told us that Seb needs emergency operation.
And again, it was so painful that I cannot do anything but let him have that operation and hope that it goes well and would make him stay with me.
One of the attending nurse gave me his things. His phone, his watch, his ring--- the ring I wore him on our wedding day. I silently cry again. All this time, it's just me. All this time, I was atfault for not trusting him enough, for being so weak to hear his truth. All this time, it was just me and my pains.
"Elle!"
Upon seeing Serena, I breakdown and cry. I hugged her tightly. Serena answered me with a tight hug too.
"Serena! Serena! I am late. I am so late. Serena! He must not leave me. He must not die on me. Serena..."
"He will fight Elle. He'll fight for you. Now that you came back, he will fight with everything just to be with you again. I know my brother, for you he will strive hard to live. He won't die on us. He won't leave us."
It took me some time to calm down and give hopes that the surgery will go well.
"Does your parents knew what happened?" I asked Serena
"I've already called them, they will arrive this evening."
I just nodded at her.
Ilang oras na kami ni Serena sa labas ng operating room at wala pa ring nalabas miski isa mula sa loob. Takot, pangamba, lungkot at pagsisisi ang namamayani sa kalooban ko. Gustong gusto ko nang pasukin ang operating room malaman lamang kung ano na ang nangyayari sa loob. Kung maaari sana'y hinding hindi ko sya iiwan sa mga oras na ito.
Because of too much exhaust, aksidente kong nabitawan ang cellphone ni Seb, I saw his lock screen. It was us. Me, Em and Pj. I tried to look what's inside and guilt trip over my being.
On his photo gallery, there was nobody but us. The stolen pictures of us lauging, the pictures he got from the photo album, his children's medals and certificates, Em's TVCs and ads, the downloaded vlogs I did for Em and Pj.
"Seb has no interest in girls when we are growing up."
Napatingin ako kay Serena.
"Yes, he has fair share of women who have been in an under-the-sheet relationship with him. But he was actually never fond of any girl."
Nakikinig lamang ako sa nga kwento ni Serena
"I asked him before what does he want for a girl, he did not answer me that time."
"Then a lady named Cassandre came to our house and announced her pregnancy with Sebastien. Father is a very dignified man. There is no chance for a NO in Seb's situation. Yes, they got married, Seb tried his best to be good to her. But she lost the baby. She lost the baby while she was hanging out with friends. Seb knew all along that the baby wasn't his, but he was so sure that he loved the baby. Seb got so mad that he immediately filed divorce."
I felt guilty that I did not listened to him, I did not give him time to clear everything.
"You know what, a month ago, he came to me and told me, 'I have an answer already to your question'."
"I want a wife who can live without me, I want a wife who can take care of our children even I wasn't present. I want a wife who would not whine and whail and cry out loud when I die. I want a wife who is strong and can survive without me."
"That's what he said and I actually knocked his head because of what he answered me. I thought he was kidding me. I thought he wasn't serious. But seeing you, I now believe him. He never wanted anybody, he just wants you. He describes you."
"Everyday, since that day he saw you again, he would call me and tell me his thoughts. He would be asking me if he is doing it right. Sometimes, he'll cry to sleep because he might be very late to enter his children's life. He would always regret thatbhe married someone else before he met you. Sometimes he'd tell me he was too hurt to see you very happy with someone else but he can't do anything. Sometimes he would laugh out hard when he's telling me things Eiffel did and told him. There are days he wishes to play with Pj but he can't because your son hates him. There are days he watches you from afar because he said he needs no attachment. Most of the time, he would ask me to promise him that whatever happens, I will always, always find time to look after the three of you. He told me to support all of you."
Serena then cried with me.
"He told me to give you and Em flowers every 23rd of the month. He told me to look for interesting puzzles for Pj. He told me, I must always take picture of all of you but I must do it in silence. He asked me to be present on every birthday---"
Serena then was silenced with her cry.
"He loved you so much Elle, he loves you so much he's willing to take all the sin, all the guilt and all the pain with him."
"I am sorry." the only thing I can tell him
Serena's about to speak again nung biglang magkagulo sa operating room. A siren then rang and surfaced the area. Serena ran to the nurse and asked what's happening.
My world slowly crumbled down and darkness succumb my being.
"Sebastien..."
The only thing I can utter while I was outside the operating room.
