To The Stars//Jeff Atkins ↠ 13 REASONS WHY

Mp3.file13.On_the_Run

Waking up is no longer the pleasure it was. There is a fleeting moment when I am whole again but it evaporates faster than summer rain off the burnt earth.

As I rose from a heavy slumber with the piercing sound of the alarm clock, I am first aware of the coolness of the air and it's loamy fragrance. The ground is lumpy as if I were on a bed of earth and rocks. My clothes feel as damp as a flower in the dew of the dawn. I half wonder if I'm still dreaming as I sit up to take in the shafts of light that burst through the gaps in the leaf canopy above. Now I'm awake, perhaps more fully awake than I've ever been. There are no paths around me and no sign of another person. As far as I can tell I am alone with the birds who make their carefree song around me, and in that sweet melody, I feel more alone.

The saddest part of it is, though, that eventually, even the memory of your dream will fade - if you are even lucky enough to remember it that is.

Especially the moment when we were about to kiss. the moment his eyes looked into mines. The look that is a perfect blend of sexy and adorable. The look that made my heart flutter and my lips tremble. The chance of seeing his dreamy eyes gaze at my own and notice them slowly lower and fix on my lips. Him quickly glancing back up, in hopes of recovering from giving anything away. His look of vulnerability.

I knew that moment at the dance he was trying his hardest to keep his eyes off my lips, but he couldn't, which fully exposed hope we truly felt about me and what he was planning to do at that moment.

I leaned over at the clock. Suddenly my body's system was all on go. I flew open my wardrobe door and chucked on some fashionable clothes.

It was the weekend and I wanted nothing more than to do a couple of errands and relax.

I walked out of my house with a simple denim shirt and baggie jeans. My hair was as unruly as ever.

I locked the door, I turned around to see a car pulling up and low and behold it's Jeff Atkins.

"H-Hey," Jeff said, "Can we talk?"

"Uh..yea sure," I replied while taking a seat on the porch stairs as he walked up and took a seat right next to me.

"Well, there is this girl that I like a lot," he started to sound like one of those cheerleaders, causing me to giggle at his act, "Me and her totally had the best time the other day at the Holloween dance, but she ran away from me...what do I have to do to make sure she stays by my side?"

I couldn't hold my giggles anymore and just soon laughed out loud at his act hysterically. He soon joined in with laughing with me.  His laughter was deep and melodious, resonating over every inch of my being as if I'd just been immersed in a downpour of low musical notes.

We both began to calm down and stare at each other once again. That look once again came back. It was hard to look away from how his sparkling eyes were irresistibly charming as they were bathed in warm sunlight.

"Jeff, I don't want to be a rebound-"

"You aren't nor will you ever be a rebound," he assured, "Rose, I do love you," He smiled.

I smiled knowing that these feelings I had tried so hard to push to the side were just trying to hard to push through. But there was something that was telling me, in the back of my mind, to not get close.

"I feel the same way," I replied, "But I am just not ready for a relationship."

"Why not?" He asked with a slight frown on his face.

"Because I have never been in one before," I confessed while getting up and heading down the stairs, "I have some errands to run, I'll see you around."

Jeff remained on my porch, looking at me as I waved off and walked down the road. Just the last glimpse I got of him, I noticed that he just has gotten more determined to make me his.

"Don't forget Rose, you and I still have to go to the carnival!" he yelled.