To The Stars//Jeff Atkins ↠ 13 REASONS WHY

Mp3.file16_Repentance

Every day from Christmas until now, the first week of February, the memory of Jeff and I fighting always made my tears spill out, rolling down my cheek as I didn't try to wipe them off or anything while I look at this mirror, glimpsing into my soul.

Every day I allowed myself to sob out in heartbreak, opting to do this instead of bottling up everything that I felt.

My father confessed to talking to Jeff and allowing him to do that to my room knowing that the look in his eyes at the time was filled with love and adoration.

But now, whenever we have seen each other, he would just turn to his jock friends while I would continue to speak with my friends, mainly Clay, Hannah, and Tony.

But as much as it pained me to see him moved on...I was still happy for him.

Happy as I was for him, it pained me to see him all snuggled up to his girlfriend right now at lunch. Here I was trying to memorize the notes for a test I had in the next period and didn't even get a lick of information in my head.

Why? I just couldn't take it anymore.

"You guys make such a cute couple!" Jess yelled.

"Yeah, what are you guys doing on Valentine's day?"

"Guy moving forward with your relationship..."

"Too bad, things didn't work with Rose."

Next thing I knew I rose from the lunch table and slammed my book against the table. Everything got quiet, all eyes were on me now. I couldn't take this anymore.

I headed out of the cafeteria and towards my locker to get the rest of the books I needed. I know I was going to get busted for this later, but it was damn worth it...I just didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to be near him anymore...I was officially done.

"Rose..." I heard a voice I really didn't want to hear say my name. I closed my locker and looked at Jeff as he looked at me from the cafeteria doors.

I started back at Jeff, looking directly at me. I couldn't help but choke up. The stare was intense, everything I was feeling, everything I was trying to push away hit me again, and here.

I was taken back by it, and my eyes started to water. He looked broken as well but I didn't know, I couldn't tell anymore. He wasn't the one the center at everyone jokes, he wasn't hurt! I was! I was the one that everyone would be teased about how I let him go while he ignored everything.

He looked away and through the windows, grinning that small grin...probably to his girlfriend. But that was enough to turn me on my heels and to walk away and run out of there.

"Rose wait!" Jeff yelled running after me causing me to stop once I reached the school doors.

"As much as I wanted to fight my feelings against you, I just know I can't fight them anymore but you are happy so I need to find it in my heart to move on," I stated taking a deep breath, "I regret running away from you that day but now this will be the final time...I just can't be with you Jeff, your happy now. It's over, you two just be together and let me live in the shadows."

"What about you and Monty? that day you were with him picking a gift, you were just as happy," he pleaded his point.

"He only asked me to find a gift for his mother because he was having a hard time thinking in a girl's perspective and since I was around and alone, he asked me." I spat at him the best way I could.

"Rose please..." Jeff pleased while walking towards you, "You and I both love each other and I know I would be your first but please give me a chance. I would do anything to keep you. I won't associate with-"

"Please don't do this," I replied, "I think it is time for you to let go..."

I opened the doors, letting the daylight shine in, walking towards it with the doors closing right behind me. It was the first time I ever walked out of school.