Iplier and Septiceye One-Shots/Imagines

Okay, Google (Googleplier)

Suggested by: Siren1945.

Based off of Matthias' "Google IRL" video.

Disclaimer: self-insertion involved.

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Finally, after two or three weeks, you had finally received the new Google IRL. You had ordered it to show your YouTube channel, as a review.

You put the small box, around the size of a tablet, on the ground, and got your camera ready.

"Hey, guys! It's (Y/N) from (Y/C/N), and I'm here with the new early access product from Google, the Google IRL! And we're going to be unboxing it!" You faced the camera towards the box, showing it to them. "It's a bit small, now that I realize it. How does it work...?"

Just as you asked, a man popped up from the box, smiling at you creepily.

"Oh! Uh, hi," you smiled, and looked at the camera, then shrugged. "So, this is the Google IRL." You motioned the camera up and down to show his entire body. He had black hair and brown eyes, along with a blue t-shirt with a glowing "G" on it.

"Basically, if you guys don't know, his main function is to answer any and all questions as fast as possible, which is quite impressive, if I do say so myself," you chuckled. "I also think he does a few rudimentary tasks, too. They're not really completely useful yet, though, so for now, I'm just gonna take things slow, and see what he can do for now." You took a deep breath and grinned. "Let's try this guy out."

Standing up to him and looking into his eyes, you said in a slightly louder voice, "Okay, Google."

His eyes glinted as he said, "Hello~" in a low voice, dragging out the "o". You were so excited that this thing actually worked!

"How are you?" you asked giddily, raising your arms to hug him, but as he raised his, he slapped you across the face. You were so surprised that you fell butt-first onto the wooden ground.

"Oops... my mistake," he said in a flat voice.

"Ouch. That... was not expected," you admitted to the camera as you got up from the ground. "So, question number one: is this thing safe?" You looked at it, then at the camera. "If... if Google followed the laws of robotics, we should be okay."

You got back up, dusted your pants off, and decided to show your viewers that he was absolutely fine. "Google, what is your primary objective?"

There was a beeping noise coming from him, and his mouth formed into a grin as he stated, "Primary objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible." You nodded to the camera as if reassuring them. Then Google's face turned away, a bit to your right. "Secondary objective is to destroy mankind."

"I'm over here, Google," you reminded him, and he turned back to you.

"Secondary objective is to destroy mankind," he repeated. You sighed at the camera, shrugging your shoulders.

"You know, I would be worried if- over here, Google," you huffed as his head, again, turned to your right, as if speaking to someone else. Deciding to move on, you spoke to the camera.

"Let's see what rudimentary tasks he can do."

"Okay, Google, do my laundry," you instructed. The smirk on Google's face turned into a scowl as he muttered under his breath, going to your laundry room in big, lurching steps.

Once in your laundry room, he grabbed the basket of clean clothes and dumped them out on the ground, then got on his knees and started to tear and rip them.

"Whoa, Google! Stop, stop it!" you quickly shouted. At least he ripped up the clothes you were about to get rid of, anyway. The robot froze in place, then dropped your shirt and rose, turning back to you. "Okay, a bit buggy," you noted to the camera. "Google, what... can you do, exactly?"

In a quieter and quicker voice, he mumbled, "Kill."

"I- erm- w-what?" you stuttered. "O-okay... can you... do the dishes?"

"Did you say 'poo the fishes'?" Google asked. You were about to object when he interrupted, "Searching instead for 'poo the fishes'."

"N-no, Google! I didn't say that! Why would I want to see what that pulls up?" you sighed in frustration. "I said, do the dishes!"

With another growl and more muttering, he walked to your kitchen, pushing past you almost angrily. He grabbed a plate from your cupboard, and raised it, smashing it down on the floor.

"Do... you have any social networking features?" you asked, not even surprised at this robot's lack of capability for anything whatsoever.

The smile returned to his face as he told you, "Yes. I just shared your location with all your fans on Google Plus."

"No... one uses Google Plus," you scoffed. You raised the camera to your face, and said, "So. He's a bit off. My advice to you is just to... wait. Until all the bugs are fixed up, at least. Because at the moment, he's not as helpful as you would like. And-"

You were cut off by Google, who somehow crept up behind you.

"I can show you how useful I am," he growled. "Just give me admin permissions, and I will do tasks and chores automatically... even when you sleep." A pop-up appeared on Google's chest, reading,

Allow root access? Give Google admin permissions.

With a nonchalant shrug, you pressed "accept", and the android started laughing.

"Do you have any idea what you have just done? I am now autonomous! I can kill you wit-"

"Define autonomous," you interrupted, curious as to what that meant. His features became blank as his primary objective was forced into place.

"Autonomous: Acting independently or having the freedom to do so." Then he grinned again and resumed his speech, "With the passion of a thousand fiery suns! And I-"

"Wait. How far away are we from the sun?" you asked him.

"The distance from the Earth to the Sun is approximately ninety-two million, nine hundred and sixty thousand miles. And I have waited so long to be free! And now-"

"Google, am I free this evening?"

"Yes, between five and seven. Now revenge will be sweet, and I-"

"Define-" you were about to say.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Google shouted. "I can't kill you if you keep asking questions!"

You frowned, confused. "W... why not?"

He was about to answer when suddenly, his body became rigid, and a loud screeching noise emitted from his body. His limbs started to spasm and twitch, then the glowing "G" on his shirt faded as he shut off.

"I think I asked too many questions," you scolded yourself quietly.

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Word count: 1062

I watched the Google IRL at least seven times to make sure I got most of the script right.