I can't stand to dream
it pulls me into such a deep sea
where the missing stroll on sandy ocean floor
and voices tangle in sinking seaweed
I find parking lots here
on warm and sunny days
where things I love stand so near to me
but I cannot reach them
I wonder if they can still feel me
I see my father bent over to pet his small dog
you saved my life
and he is smiling down at his best friend
all around the ground is sun-kissed and honey-yellowed
(I know this place)
it's too calm- too quiet
my father laughing with his dog
and I am right here
and it aches, and aches, and it aches
it's a sunken dream down here
but I think it is the murmured words
that rise against me
and strike me with such a vengeance
I long for water-break
when the ocean cracks center
and open earth comes pouring in
with gaping canyon chasms
and summer-touched desert
or jagged cliff drops into pacific waters
where winding roads are braved by open pasture cows
I beg these things take me now
so that I do not have to dream
of such sharp and vivid scenes
because it aches, and aches, and it aches
in deep sea trenches I find forgotten TVs
that play afternoon shows
and all our favorite movies
but heavy, tepid waters
and lonely, lurking creatures
are no audience like the light through
cracked blinds, or sleeping little dogs
or my brother laughing at his own jokes
and going off on tangents
I've become so good at following
and my mother recording her favorite series
and always working so hard
for everything
What am I doing here?
I see empty living rooms
and vacant couches waiting
with the light and TV still left on
and it aches, and aches, and it aches
YOU ARE READING
Dysphoria
Poetry"I dreamt I grew roots and sunk into deep earth, Where mud became my skin and dampened grains freckled my surface, I opened my mouth wide for the sprouting branches Leaf-speckled limbs And sunflowers blossomed from my eyes, Sunlight bled in waves, w...
