i live with something inside of me
a howling animal
a starving beast
he claws at my bones until
i am raw and throbbing
and so fucking full of
that thrashing and tearing i think
i am going to be ripped apart from
the inside
depression isn't just a sharp or dull and painful
sadness
sometimes it's a terrifying violence
the kind that sinks me into bloody bathrooms
with razor blades
or hides bourbon bottles underneath
the passenger seat
of my car at 2am
(or is that the ptsd?)
panic disorder-
anxiety disorder-
this beast has multiple heads
and so many teeth
he's eating all my guts and lungs
and frantic heart
I'm afraid there won't be anything left
to give
or that i'll throw all the living things out of me
in a desperate attempt to save them
and i'll never get them back
or i'll waste them on a pair of pretty eyes and
i'll be wrong and hollow and left
with just this monster inside of me-
at least i know him well
YOU ARE READING
Dysphoria
Poetry"I dreamt I grew roots and sunk into deep earth, Where mud became my skin and dampened grains freckled my surface, I opened my mouth wide for the sprouting branches Leaf-speckled limbs And sunflowers blossomed from my eyes, Sunlight bled in waves, w...
