baby blue // zach abels

f i f t e e n

  

!TRIGGER WARNING!

- two nights ago -

The monster inside me has woken up. Feed me Zach, feed me. It pleaded with beg.

The message on my phone made me faint for the second time this day. I am sorry to say that and in this way but Mr. Abels you are fired.

That hit me hard in the heart. I puffed and looked at the shiny item next to me. I chuckled.

Who would miss me?

Mom is dead. Dad is dead even though I hate him. Jesse would be better without me. Elvira....

Ughh.

She never needed me. She just wanted to find a sad and lame human being. To make her feel better. To make her famous.

Ughh.. I sighed again. My heart pounding at its fastest.

My life is a mess. My head is a mess. Sooner or later, the landlord would kick me out. I left Jesse a small bunch of dollars just enough to survive for two weeks. Then he would just leave.

I looked at the sharp blade. "Hey you are the last thing I get to touch." I chuckled. I have said that three times in my life. The one when I was fifteen, the second when I was twenty and the other now.

Hesitation started running through me.

Ugh Zach, who would miss you? Who gives a crap about you anyway?

I grabbed the blade, my hand shaking my heart pounding. The first downward cut many more to go.

My hand suddenly stop shaking. The bloodstream runs through my wrist. It feels good. Yeah it does. One more cut, deeper this time.

The sink was painted a dark red color, the replaced mirror painted with red drops. It feels better. My heart stopped pounding feeling used to the pain. One more.

A river of blood was all over the bath's floor. Who would care? Who does care? It feels the best.

My senses started fading. My vision got blurry. The last thing I remember seeing was Jesse all over my body yelling some inaudible words.

- two afternoons ago -

I headed to a bar as always. I cracked a long, confident and fake smile. "Jesse the hell you doing here, Zach needs you." the barista told me. I frowned.

"Excuse me?" I asked her and she wiggled her painted eyebrows in confusion.

"What to drink?"

What was that? I felt weird and most of all I suddenly had the urge to go home. Instead I just ordered a beer, which turned to be two three four five...

Murder. That's all you are a murder. Even your best friend hates you.

I don't care though I've been hated my whole life. "I have to g-g-go ho-home" I said trying to stand up after being high. Fuck, where's the exit?

I walked into the pale moonlight whose light was shining straight into my face. Paint yourself yellow. Pretending be happy when in fact you are one of the most hated colors.

I saw a couple making out. "Get yourself a room." I chuckled. The guy stopped murmured something and punched my face causing me to crash into the pavement and faint.

I checked the time.

4:35

Oh!

At least I had completely sobber up.

I reached home and got the keys out of my pockets. Unlocked.

All the lights were out except from the bathroom's. I switched on the kitchen's and found an envelope with my name in Calligraphy, Zach's writing.

I opened it and there was five thousand dollars with a note use them well. I goggled my eyes.

Rushing into the bathroom was all I could think about. I didn't have time to ask him if he were okay cause clearly he wasn't.

I kicked it. The replaced door fell on the blood covered floor. Oh my God! I had seen blood in my life but this was like you strained an elephant.

Next to the bathtub were footsteps. I opened the curtain and found Zach glancing at me before drifting back to sleep.

- one day before -

"Yeah Mr. Rutherford, you can talk to Mr. Abels." Jesse weakly nodded not having anything to say.

Zach was laying on a bed with dark blue sheets. He was facing the wall so he didn't have to face Jesse and see how much pain he caused him.

Jesse sat on the bed next to him looking at his crossed palms. "Why?"

If Zach's life was a book it would be named why. Not baby blue. "Jesse..."

"You are selfish Zach." he cut him off. Zach twisted his face to face Jesse whose eyes were teared up. "No fucking dollar could replace you."

"Who cares?"

"I care, Elvira cares."

"She doesn't. She has moved on waiting for her baby."

"I can prove you wrong Zach! If she comes here to see you that will mean that she still cares."

"She won't, she doesn't know.." Jesse chuckled. Of course she doesn't know but she was yet to.

+please give some love to sadderdaze
:3 |rough chapter|