Breaking The Rules

Chpt. 33

Noah had texted me, and I think my heart froze. His name on my phone was surely unexpected, and part of me wishes he would have never texted me, it'll only make things harder.

*Call me as soon as you can* I read to myself. Who does he think I am? I can't just call him. I can't just talk to him like nothing has happened, like everything is perfectly fine whenever I know everything is messed up and he can't just do this to me because he knows I'll call him and he thinks I'll do anything he says and I'm overthinking this way too much for my likings.

I let my thoughts slips aside and I pushed the call button. The whole two rings, I was regretted the decision of calling him.

"Hey." He firmly said, like everything was okay. Of course, I knew this would happen. It's so predictable.

I didn't reply, I couldn't find the courage to speak, but when do I ever have the courage to speak? I'm always scared to speak my mind, and someday that's going to have to change. I can't just keep hiding how I feel, I should eventually tell him.

"Listen, I know you hate me right now, but I would kind of like to make it up to you.. I've felt like a complete arse for the past two days, and I can't take it anymore. We may not be able to date, but we can still be friends." He said, and I think I about shattered my phone along with my heart. 'We may not be able to date, but we can always be friends.' Who says that? Who even says that? Does he know how that makes me feel? It's like someone telling you that you have one a million dollars, and then just kidding about it. He gets all your hopes up by calling you, and then he says something as low as that? Does he even know what this means to me? I think not.

"Ok-kay" I replied shortly. I mean, what else was I going to say? Was I suppose to tell him that I'm dying on the inside? That I don't want to be just friends? He already knows I don't, and he's just messing with my feelings.

"So, I'm coming to get you right now. Be ready." He laughed, but I didn't. Of course I didn't freaking laugh, I'm on the verge of tears, but there is no way in heck that I'm letting him hear me cry. No.

I hung up the phone, I'm so happy that I'm already up and dressed, because I'm really too tired to get ready. He's drained all of my energy, and I rather sleep than go out with him.

I wish I could sleep forever, no worries, no heartbreak. I could sleep, I could be happy, instead of depressed and head over heels for a boy that I can't have. It's kind of like wanting to date a celebrity, they're too good for you, so therefore you'll never be able to date them.

I should just consider Noah a celebrity, he's too good for me, way too good for me.

(A/N: so this chapter is extremely short because my phone is dying..)