Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 2

Tobias

I stare at her in disbelief. This is how she sees me? Like some idiot pushing her for sex? If that's what she really thinks of me, she doesn't know me at all.

The thought hurts me so much that I can't look at her any longer, so I turn my attention to the computer. I quickly open a text file and hammer in empty words on the keyboard, hoping she'll get the message and leave.

I need to be alone to get her fearful expression during the simulation out of my mind. The way her body tensed when my simulation-self pushed her to the bed and ordered her to sit down, her anxious expression at the command to take off her shirt. She's afraid of me, I think, she's afraid of me, afraid of me, afraid of me.

Is she afraid right now, too? After all, she's alone in here with me. I think back to the worried look on her face when she entered this room earlier. Has she been fearful the whole time? What is she thinking of me?

"You should go," I whisper when she doesn't make a move.

Alone. I need to be alone. A part of me wishes she would say something, explain herself, but she doesn't. I hear the door creak open and then slam shut behind her.

Now I am alone. Again.

I sit down on the chair beside the computer, unable to believe what has just happened. I can't think, I'm restless. What I need right now is to get the anger out of my system. I shut down the computer, stand up and switch off the lights.

I quickly go to my apartment to change into training clothes and head to one of the training rooms. It's empty.

Relieved that I can be on my own in here, I start running to warm up my body. Then I work about an hour on the different exercise machines, pushing my body hard. It feels good to lift and push and pull weights with my arms and legs until my muscles can no longer support them. I allow myself to take a short break before I move on to the punching bag hanging in the corner and attack it with my bare hands. I'm still not into fighting people, especially not for fun, but I appreciate how hitting the thick leather eases my mind and gives me the feeling of being in control of myself. By the time my knuckles turn red, my head feels comfortably empty.

I slump into one of the chairs beside the door and take some large gulps from my water bottle. When my pulse is back to normal, I head back to my apartment to take a shower and change into fresh clothes. I'm not hungry at all, but go down to the cafeteria anyway, since staying in my room is not an option: It reminds me too much of Tris' simulation.

As I enter the cafeteria I glance to the group of initiates sitting around a table on the left, but Tris is not among them. Instead, I spot Zeke and Shauna standing in the line for food, so I join them. I'm not fond of chatting to them right now, but they would see me anyway.

Zeke looks me up and down.

"You all right, Four? You look pissed."

"It's nothing."

"Yeah, right. I can see that."

"I'm fine."

"Your knuckles look like they've just had a date with a punching bag."

Zeke nods to my sore hands before he turns around to go over to a nearby table. I sigh and put a steak and some vegetables on my plate before I join him. Shauna must have noticed my bad mood, too. She has chosen to sit with Lauren and some other girls at another table.

Zeke and I start eating in silence. Eventually he breaks the quiet.

"You're going to tell me what happened?"