Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 34

Tris

I push Lauren's words into the back of my mind to be able to concentrate on getting off the train without hurting myself. I land hard on the grass and roll to the side to slow down my speed.

After tapping the dust off my jacket and pants, I make my way over to the Abnegation sector. It's just a short walk from here. The closer I get, the stronger my heart is beating in my chest, and I'm out of breath although I'm not running. At first, I'm not sure what to make of it, but then I recognize what this is: fear.

I'm afraid of what I might find out today.

But it doesn't help to name my emotion. It's there to stay. I'm sure it'll only get better after I've talked to my mother.

I sneak along right outside of Abnegation for a while, observing the members of my former faction as they go about their daily business. What I see seems strangely foreign to me: How they walk so slowly and cautiously step aside for other people to pass, how politely they greet each other without ever getting closer than arm's length, how the children walk and wait in patient silence beside their parents. There's an overall quiet around the place that has never rung so loud in my ears.

I'm already more Dauntless than I thought was. Sometimes I'm torn between the different sides of my personality, but at this moment I'm sure I've picked the right faction for me.

That realization leads to a rush of self-confidence, and suddenly my fear tones down to worry. I finally start looking for a save path to my parents' house. I hope mum is at home. Things will get complicated if I have to start looking for her around the compound. I'd rather not be seen over here. Luckily, the house is not far in. I just have to pass three other houses, and the street is mostly empty.

I have to risk it. I try not to fall into a jog as I enter the compound in the shadow of the first gray house. Fast movements might cause more interest than black clothes. I decide to take off my jacket and leave it under a bush. Beneath it I'm wearing a gray pullover. Maybe that'll help. I also remember to tie up my hair.

Whenever the street is empty of people, I walk deeper into the compound, staying close to the houses. I use their shadows to hide in, and whenever I have to pass a window, I crouch to not be seen. But of course I know there could always be someone watching me from the other side of the street. Abnegation homes don't have curtains.

I let out a long breath once I've reached our house, or now that of my parents. I take a look through the window and smile when I see my mother sitting in the living room, knitting a scarf. The scene is so familiar that, for a few seconds, I allow myself to dwell in childhood memories, until I remember what I'm really here for.

I softly knock on the window and am relieved to see a smile spread in Natalie's face when she sees me. She motions to the back door and lets me in. I want to take her into my arms, but her gray robes remind me not to behave too Dauntless around her.

"Beatrice, I'm so happy to see you, my big girl. But why are you here? You look strained."

You can't hide from a mother's knowing eyes, I guess.

"I need to talk to you, and I apologize for not having much time."

"That's okay, don't worry. I'm sure you have your reasons. So please, take a seat. Can I bring you something to drink?"

She doesn't wait for an answer as I sit on the couch and fumble with my pullover to not show off too much skin.

Mum comes back with two glasses of water that she places on the low table before she sits down by my side with her body turned towards me.