Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 57

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Tobias

It's been hard work to smuggle Caleb and Marlene into Dauntless. I had to wait with them in an empty building close to the compound while Lauren went to fetch some black clothes for them, as they were both wearing Erudite blue. Time stretched endlessly until she came back.

We then had to insistently explain the severity of the situation to them.

After spending almost an hour with them on our way through the city and during the time we had to wait for Lauren, I finally believe that they must have been brainwashed in some awful way. They really don't know anything anymore, their personalities are gone. It's only their bodies that are left. I wonder if Tris and Uriah got to witness that when they exchanged their own freedom against theirs.

Once we had brought them safely inside, Lauren took over the thankless task of waking up Zeke and Shauna to tell them what happened this morning, while I set off to my apartment to get the items Tris has left on my nightstand.

My apartment doesn't feel like home anymore without Tris around. It is hard to be here, knowing how much has changed in just a few hours. I sit down on my bed and move my hand over the side where Tris has slept until what I assume was early morning.

Why didn't I notice that she woke up and left? If only I had woken up, I could have stopped her, or gone with her.

I then look at the nightstand and swallow past the lump in my throat as I see that the communicator is blinking, announcing a new message.

Grabbing the device is like a reflex, it happens without thinking. But pushing the play button to hear the message costs me a lot of determination. I'm afraid of what I might hear. What if these are the last words I ever hear from Tris?

My hands are shaking as I direct my thumb to the red dot on the screen that starts playing the recording.

And all of a sudden, Tris' voice fills the room like so many times before, and I listen breathlessly.

"Tobias... I... I know that you don't like what I'm doing. If you've heard what Caleb recorded in the lab and have seen Jeanine's video message, you know why I have to do this. I can't let Caleb die because of me. He's in this because of me. This is my fault. I was the one who brought him into this, who asked him to help us and take risks without realizing how big they were. I didn't think about that when I made the decision to ask him for help. That was selfish, I realize it now. I feel terrible, because I either have to let him down - or you.

But I want you to know that I'm going to turn myself in for Caleb because he needs my help, and I know you are stronger than he is. You're so strong, Tobias. I trust you to get me out again, I know you will. You have our friends at your side, trust them. I know I'm asking a lot from you, but that's only because of how deeply I believe in you.

You have to believe in yourself, too.

I also hope you can still believe in me. Please... don't hate me. I love you so much, Tobias. So, so much. I... I didn't want to leave you."

"Then why did you?" I shout at the gadget in my hand and throw it across the room. It crashes against the wall and then falls to the floor, and parts of the plastic cover break away. I instantly regret my action. What if I've destroyed it together with the messages it contains?

I stroll over and pick up the pieces, then put them back together. For a moment, I'm concentrating so hard on what I do with my hands that I manage to forget how terrified I am. But then Tris' message plays again and I lean against the wall and slide down until I'm sitting on the cold floor with my head on my knees.