Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 41: Initiation Day

So finally, Initiation is here. It won't be the end of this story, there's still about one third to come.

Thanks for your votes and comments!

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Tris

Saying goodbye to Tobias the next morning seems to be more difficult than the upcoming exam itself. We stand in his hallway, holding each other, and all we wanted to say has been said. We both know there's hardly any time left for us before we have to go and face the day. It's getting harder to ignore the time slipping away, driving us towards the inevitable moment in which we have to let go of each other's hand and leave the shelter of the apartment. What if we won't be able to come back here?

'No, don't think that!' I scold myself. This thought doesn't help, if anything, it makes it even tougher to leave.

My throat is dry and my stomach feels as if it was filled with stones as first our lips and then our bodies part, until our last contact is our hands, my left in his right.

"Good luck, Tris. You'll make it."

"Thank you. I hope I will."

"You will."

I nod, then turn to face the door. My hand slips out of his as I leave, and I fight against the urge to turn around and take him into my arms again. We'd only have to separate for a second time, and I don't think I can do that once more this morning.

I swallow when his door closes behind me and I force my feet to keep walking towards my own apartment.

Once I'm there, I lean back against the closed door, and although I'm trying to tell myself that it's something I do to calm down before I get ready for my exam, I know very well what I'm waiting for. My breathing is shallow to assure the absolute silence I need to be able to hear Tobias' footsteps echoing through the hall outside on his way to meet with Lauren, Max and Eric. For a moment, I imagine hearing them slow down, but then I'm not sure.

It's only after the sound has faded away, and I know that he's gone, that I can pull myself together and away from that door. I change into black training pants and a jersey, use the bathroom and pause only once more before I make my way to the cafeteria for breakfast: I stare at my reflection in the small round mirror on the wall in my hallway, and I gasp when I see my pale face anxiously staring back at me.

No, this is not me! This is not dauntless Tris in the reflection. I stretch my back and straighten my shoulders. That's better. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I focus on my goal, and when I open them again, fighting spirit and determination sparkle in my gaze.

This attitude suits me much better, and I am stronger and more confident as I stride towards the pit and into the cafeteria where I join my friends for breakfast.

Although everyone is nervous, I'm thankful for the optimism each of them brings up. It's contagious, and it's definitively the right attitude for today, cause it's Dauntless.

Tobias

The initiates have gathered in front of the fear landscape room, and Eric now lets them into the waiting area of the observation office, right next to where we are sitting to watch their simulations.

I glance over Eric's shoulder as he first opens the door, and I have to catch my breath upon seeing the chattering crowd of members outside. So many people will be watching the simulations on the monitors outside. I didn't mind the celebrating crowds last year, but this year, their cheering seems louder and more out of place.