Out of the Blue {Jonathan Toews}

Chapter 20

{Christine}

A few weeks later, I was at Jonathan's place, helping him pack for Sochi.

"I don't want you to leave," I commented. He paused and glanced at me.

"I've noticed you haven't talked much about it," he replied.

"I don't want to sound selfish," I shrugged, handing him a folded shirt.

"Are you seriously worried about me thinking you're selfish?" he asked, a grin on his face.

"Yeah," I replied quietly.

"It's not a bad thing to want me home," he replied, pulling me into a hug.

"I just wish we could go somewhere like Cabo or Maui and just relax," I said into his shirt as he stroked my back. "These last few weeks have been absolutely crazy."

"I know it's been hard on you, and me too," he replied.

"Is it always like this?" I asked. My voice involuntarily cracked. He leaned back and have me a sad look.

"It's always crazy," he replied. I sighed and looked away from him. I wasn't sure if I liked it. I realized hockey was his job, and I knew how important it was and I knew how much he appreciated me supporting him. But I also had to think of myself.

I cared about him so much and he was the first guy in a long time that actually gave a damn about me and actually cared about my thoughts and my feelings. On the other hand, I didn't like how much he was gone and how seeing each other was sometimes and often limited to right before and right after games.

"Christine, please don't do this right now," he whispered. I looked back up at him. "What're you thinking?" His voice was still a whisper.

"I don't know," I whispered back. "I just, I don't like you being gone. I'm not used to this, this is something completely different from anything I've ever had."

"How?"

"I've always had boyfriends who didn't give a shit, who didn't care, and were just dating me for the hell of it. But, they've also always actually been around, always with me," I explained. "This is something so different, I just don't know what to do or how.." I felt tears begin to roll.

He cut me off by kissing me.

"I know I'm gone a lot," he began as we sat down on the bed. He pulled my legs across his lap. "But, I look at it this way. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?" I nodded, sniffing. "Every time I leave, you'll miss me and I'll miss you, and seeing each other will be exciting every time. Like new. And then, we have offseason," he paused and grinned, "this magical period of time where I have a lot of time off and we can relax."

He put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed and I felt myself laugh. My decision was made.

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Two days later, Jonathan left for Sochi. I was staying at his place, considering both he and Patrick were both at the Olympics.

Tyler and Brianna were non stop talking and Tyler decided to come visit her in Chicago. I figured I would stay out of their way. I packed two bags, enough for two weeks. I pulled on some jeans, a white t-shirt, a red blazer, and some white vans. I grabbed Jonathan's keys off the counter and walked out the door and rode the elevator to the lobby.

I drove to the hospital, biting my lip. I knew what I had to do. My job would always be there if I wanted to go back. Jonathan wouldn't. If I had let him go, I didn't know if he would've been there had I wanted to come back.