Saving Summer (BTSXBlackPink)

18 - I loved her more

Everything happened so fast, that I didn't even remember ate Prie walked towards me for a hug. All I remembered was ate Prie's scent right under my nose as she sobs on my shoulders and Terrence was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, God! Summer, I missed you so much." She said between her sobs. "I can't believe I'm getting married!"

Iniangat niya ang daliri niya sa harapan ko para ipakita ang napakalaking diyamante sa kaniyang singsing.

"Oh, God! Sam, you're already crying!" She chuckles, "Save that for tomorrow." Tumatawa niyang sinabi.

How could she laugh at times like this?

Did I just have my heart broken for the first time? I don't know... I don't know anything. All I know was this numbness I felt around me. It felt like a flame has just burnt through everything I believed in. It was just like a nightmare that never ends, trapped alone in the darkest cage, screaming. Fvck... I just have my heart broken for the first time. That all I could do was laugh it out, laugh it out, laugh it the fuck out!

"Great to see you laughing, Sam! See you tomorrow." Ate Prie gave me a peck on my cheeks as she turns her back at dumiretso pababa ng hagdan.

I wanted to move my feet, I wanted to slap her, I wanted to slap myself, I wanted to run, and run, and run. Far away from this horrible place I was standing. But I just remembered... I had my heart broken for the first time.

I felt like I was in a daze, and his voice was playing over and over and over and over in my head as I try to find out what went wrong. Like my energy's been sucked that I don't have the energy to cry anymore.

I closed my eyes, and I let my feet lead me. But when I opened my eyes, a huge window stood in front of me. The scorching sun was in my eyes that I had to close the blinders.

Ah, I remember this place. The small and old bed, the rustic scent, the cold uncarpeted marble floor, it was my own home. The place where I could cry all night without people watching me, the place where I do all the cutting, the place where I shut everybody out, the place where my father could abuse me whenever he wants.

I closed my eyes again, hoping my feet would lead me somewhere else, somewhere I could find peace. But no... I stood there, drops slowly ran down to my face. I had to wipe them so much until they have turned red and swollen. It didn't stop. It couldn't be stopped.

I cried and cried, until I collapsed on the floor, swollen with emotions.

He loved her from the start. He said so himself. Maybe all this time I always knew that he loved her, hindi ko lang pinapansin 'yung mga obvious na sign dahil alam kong masasaktan din ako kaagad. Maybe I knew this was going to happen, and maybe I was just waiting for this. I don't know! I don't know anymore.

The more I think about it, the more my heart aches.

All this time, everything I thought I had, never became mine. It was all ate Prie's in the first place. My father's sympathy and love, a beautiful future, friends, a degree, and now Terrence's love and attention. And all I get was her leftovers.

Without him, I have nothing but sadness, darkness, and isolation. I was back from the start, the alone, depressed and stupid Summer.

I heard a knock coming from my door, but my body won't move. It was as if it was pasted on the floor.

"Come in..." My voice cracked.

Ngunit nagpatuloy parin ito sa pagkatok.

"Come in!" I shouted so loud that it hurt my throat.