Dan Howell x Reader | Chris' Sister

The Search

Hey guys thanks for the support! The story must go on! Sorry for so much in Dan's POV, but it it's in better with the plot! Stay awesome!

(Y/n) POV

"Of course I feel bad, how could I not feel terrible!" I said to Louise. Risky move to be talking to her, but she was my go to besides Dan or Phil or Chris. She had promised not to tell, but I was skeptical, considering she was trying to convince me to talk to him and just let it go. 

"Then apologize and make up! You both love each other, who cares what the fans think!" She argued.

"I care about them! If they aren't happy Dan's career is ruined, because of me, and then he isn't happy!" I said for about the thousandth time, the guilt slowly piling up in my stomach.

"And do you think he is happy now? Without you?" Louise asked.  

That's something new.

"He seemed mad when I did it Lou. I'm just a burden." I said sniffling lightly.

"You are not a burden! Dan need you just as much as you need him! Soulmates, (y/n). Soulmates. That's the only explanation. You were lucky enough to meet yours! You can't let him go!" She said. I could tell she was getting desperate now. She truly did care didn't she?

Then it hit me.

"But that's exactly it Lou. Some people don't get to meet their soulmates and if they do, everything is perfect. Is that what you call perfect?" I asked curling my toes inside my shoes, looking down.

"No. It's not perfect." She said. I looked at her in disbelief. 

"It's love, (y/n). Love isn't perfect."

We sat in silence. Maybe she's right. But. After what I did, he won't want me. I'm just the lowlife that ran, over a little bump in the road, instead of working on the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

Best.

No, (y/n). 

This is what is best for him. 

Right?

Dan's POV

4 days.

No hugs.

No love.

No (y/n).

No nothing.

She's probably moved on.

No. She still loves me and always will. 

I reread the text over and over again.

I had to find her. Convince her that she's wrong, I'm wrong, everyone's wrong. 

That I love her.

I haven't left my room for the past 4 days. 

I have called everyone she knows at least a hundred times.

One more time can't hurt. I rang Chris, Zoe, PJ, her parents, everyone I could think of.

Then I rang Louise.

"Hello?" Louise's voice came through. She seemed strained, a feeling I was no stranger to.

"Louise" I croaked. 

"Oh my Dan you just sound terrible, how are you feeling?" Louise asked. She was speaking louder than normal, stressing my name and the fact I sounded horrible. Salt in the wound.

"Terrible, I don't think I have ever wanted anything more in my life. I didn't realize how much I would miss her until she was actually gone Lou." I said.

Silence.

"Lou?"

I could hear slight bickering.

"Lou! Who are you talking to?"

"Uh..." The phone rustled and the pad of footsteps quickly walked away.

"Lou?"

"Yes Dan?"

"Was that her?" I asked. The pain in my stomach subsided.

"Yes." She said, defeated.

A sharp pain rippled through my body.

"She heard me?" I asked. 

No answer. 

"Lou, answer me!!" I said, my voice raising slightly.

"No, I wanted to tell her, but she refused. She said it was to hard to listen to." She said.

"So she hasn't moved on?" I said, hopefully. 

"What?! Moved on?! She has moved about as much as a tree. She's a wreck! I have been trying to convince her to let the comments go, but she is thoroughly convinced that you hate her and that you and your fan are better off without her." She ranted. She wanted to say that for a long time didn't she?

"Where is she? I need to see her!" I said desperately putting the phone on speaker so Phil, who had just walked in, could listen.

"I... Can't tell you." 

"What?! Why?! You're on my side!" I screamed. Phil sat next to me listening intently rubbing my back with his hand. He took my phone in the other as I began to so uncontrollably.

"Why not Lou?" Phil asked, his voice calm.

"She knows I am talking to you guys as will most likely flee even farther if one of you show up. Flee for good." She explained.

"I can help you but we need to do this strategically, while there is still a chance." Lou said. I looked over at Phil who was looking for me to say something.

"Louise?" I said quietly.

"Yes Dan?"

"Please tell her I love her."