This is not a fairytale-Sandersides

Chapter 1

AN: Before you read this I want to make clear that this was written before any of the dark sides had appeared. This was written at the time right after Accepting Anxiety and finished somewhere shortly after Moving On part 2 had come out.
Just a heads up as to why some of the information might be wrong or some character might be absent. 
Alright! I hope you enjoy this angsty mess!

Friendly reminder: This is not your personal vent blog. There's a person behind these stories that reads all your comments who such things can affect negatively. Hope you all are doing well and have a good day. Love, Roman

It had become a routine by now.

My breathing got quicker as my mind wandered to every place it shouldn't go.
My lungs filled themselves with hot, sticky air which tasted like broken thoughts and my sore muscles started twitching as I rolled myself up into a ball and let the dark water consume me.

It had started like it always had for the past ten years: A strange pressure on my chest and the feeling of dread slowly growing in my stomach. The pounding in my chest got abnormally fast as if my heart were about to burst out of my chest. The moment I started feeling dizzy I ran off to my room; this time being the dark version of Thomas his bedroom I closed the door knowing very well the others could come in here whenever they liked. I collapsed on the carpet, the world was spinning around me and the colours seemed to blur into each other and I curled up into a ball trying to ease the stinging pain which had overtaken my upper body. A thousand daggers were implanted into my chest and stomach and my shaking hands grabbed onto my jacket which I had thrown to the side as it had gotten incredibly hot.
The enormous amount of pain also came with some sort of numbness, as if my body wasn't my own and the pain seemed pointless yet it wouldn't stop. 

My mind seemed to be lost in an ocean of fears, the tiniest lifeboat slowly sinking as the storm approached which would soon drown me in everything I didn't want to think about.

At least I can filter it a bit for Thomas.

***

"How is this in any way helpful?"

I was standing on my usual spot on the stairs, getting my usual portion of bullshit from Roman and, like always, not responding because he was, like always, right.

I knew I wasn't being helpful in any way, I was taking everyone down a rabbit hole of worries and scenarios that most definitely wouldn't happen, I was being the bad guy like I'm supposed to be.
But fact is, I didn't want it to be that way.

And this is the part where most 'villains'reveal their tragic backstory. They had been abandoned by their family or had been outcasts their whole life.
I could tell you about how everyone has hated me since we were toddlers.
I could tell you about the countless times Roman had humiliated me and made me feel like I wasn't worthy of living. I could tell you hundreds of things that would make you want to give me a good hug and tell me 'it's going to be okay'

But three simple words could change that and make you go back to wanting me gone just like everyone else does.
three words are all it takes for you to hate my guts so much you'd gladly rip them out.

I am Anxiety.

Simple right?

So, now that you hate me I can continue my story without you getting emotional.
Let's say it's a dark comedy so you and all the others can laugh at my pain because it's good seeing me go through hard times right? Because I've given you so many already.

Well then, prepare to laugh your ass off because this is going to be one hell of a ride.