This is not a fairytale-Sandersides

Chapter 22

Patton had come into the common room where I had been trying to calm my still shaking form down a bit all the while trying to stop the tears which were still freely streaming down my cheeks.

His voice was soft while calling my name, his hand placing itself on top of one of my shaking shoulders, slightly tightening his grip as he saw my face was drained in tears.

"Virge?"
That one word held so much hidden pain that it physically hurt me to look into his eyes, knowing what I would see inside of those hazel pools which normally sparkle with joy.

"Did you... did you go into the room again?"

A nod was all it took for his eyes to fill with tears again and to wrap his arms around me completely.
Regret is not the word that could describe how truly guilty I felt at that moment.
The guilt rushed through me like boiling oil as I felt his hands grabbing onto my jacket tightly, the words 'I'm so sorry' spilling from his lips over and over again.

"You didn't do anything." A cold voice made us both jump slightly, Patton throwing himself away from me as if he had gotten an electric shock.

"He hurt himself, none of us should feel responsible for his stupidity."

My chest went as cold as ice as I looked up to see Roman standing in the doorway, careful to not make any eye contact he studied his nails.

"Roman... what are you-?" Logan popped up behind the creative trait just to get cut off by Patton storming towards them and slapping Roman across the face.

The sound of his hand making contact with the others cheek echoed throughout the room, both of them seemed shocked with this act of violence but Patton seemed to regain himself quite quickly as he moved his head towards Romans ear to whisper a few words only Roman was able to understand.

The other trait just nodded, a red mark slowly starting to appear on his left cheek.

Logan had rushed forward and was now torn between examining Roman's swollen cheek or studying Patton' expression as the fatherly trait turned around to look at me, the rage quickly replaced by worry as he saw my shocked expression.

"Are you okay son? Sorry for lashing out like that but" he turned to Roman, his voice seeming to get incredibly threatening and powerful, "there are certain things I can not stand and insulting others and implying they deserve the pain they've gone through makes me do things I know are very, very wrong."

He stared at Roman for a little longer before storming past him and leaving to his room, his footsteps echoing through the hallway.

Later that evening I saw how he went to the others room, a basket full of cookies and a few Disney posters the royal did not already own behind is back.  Roman invited him into the room, wrapping his arm around Patton's shoulder and probably telling him that it was okay, that we all had lost our 'chill' once before and that it was only reasonable that Patton was just like the rest of us.

And I just laid my head back on the pillows on the couch, waiting for them to go to sleep so I could answer the voices that had been screaming inside my head throughout the whole day.

No, this self-destructing behaviour would not be helpful in any kind of way, the pain I felt might have been numbing for a little while, but the fears would just come back stronger, would just grow in time and make whatever was playing with my mind more dangerous than before I had set foot in that god forbidden room.

Maybe if I had realized just how much I was hurting the others, just how much I had been hurting Thomas, mentally but later on also physically.
Maybe, just maybe I would've had the strength to stop myself from letting it become my addiction. 

And maybe, just maybe, I would've realized how I was destroying us as a whole.