murdoc x reader

part 38

You tapped your foot impatiently, waiting on Murdoc as he picked out the beer he wanted. "Do we really need drinks?" You groaned. "Yes, we really do." He hissed in reply, oddly defensive over the beer. You shrugged and went up to the cashier. You placed a pack of gum, a water bottle, and an energy drink on the counter. The man behind the register rung you up, took your cash, and nodded at you as a farewell. You teasingly saluted him, pushing the door open with your back and spinning once your foot was outside. It was a bit chilly out. The cold breeze struck your exposed knees from your ripped jeans, sending you on your way back to the warmth of your car.

You, Russel and Murdoc had been traveling for almost a year now. And you were confident you loved the tan, dark haired Satanist - but you were scared of calling it that. One slip up from him, and your heart would be shattered.

You waited in the driver's seat, sipping your energy drink and humming the song you and Murdoc had wrote on the cruise. The two of you had sang it a few times and finally decided what it would sound like once you all set up in one place and decided to become a band.

Finally, murdoc came over to the car. He put the package of beer in the trunk, and took his seat next to you on the passenger side. "Well then luv, let's get goin." He said with a smile. You looked over to him and smiled. "As you wish~"

The three of you were trying to get back to England. You were up North in Michigan now, and all you needed was to get some cash for a one way flight. Didn't even need bags. Just the clothes on your backs.

Since you and your two travel buddies stayed in one place for close to two weeks at a time, you were able to pick up little jobs here and there, and able to save up money by buying small and cheep things from gas stations. For now, you had small gigs at bars for singing and playing the guitar. Your next gig was tonight.

You turned the car on and drove back to the motel the three of you were crashing at. It was cheap. Very, cheap. The room only had one bed, and a bathroom with a shower that barely worked. But it was better than nothing. Russel slept out in his car most nights, leaving you and Murdoc to do your... things.

---
Once back in the room, you immediately decided to get ready. You  ran to the shower, getting in before Murdoc had to chance. You washed your hair, face and body. It felt good to be clean. Once out, you dried off and wrapped your towel around your body.

You walked into the main room, Murdoc waiting by the bed. "Want a little fun before we go, luv?~" He growled. The licked his teeth and ran his fingers through his long bangs, pulling them off of his face. You bit your bottom lip and felt your face heat up, but decided to decline his offer. "Can't. I have to be there by six, and its going on five now. Go shower," murdoc groaned and made his way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him like a little boy not getting what he wants. You shrugged it off. You'd get that offer again later, no use feeling bad over one no out of a million "Yes daddy"s.

You walked over and stood in front of the only mirror in the damn room. It was dirty as hell, but you made do. You ran your fingers through your hair, giving it a messy look that went along with the whole grunge aspect of the dive bar you were preforming at. Your skin was class, so you had no use for makeup. Which was good... because you had none. Next were your clothes. You pulled out Murdocs flannel and a pair of shorts. Yeah, it was cold outside, but the smoke and breathing from inside the packed bar would work as a great heater.

After getting dressed, you slipped on your ankle high boots. You smiled down at your feet. A year ago, you would've never imagined being here.

Funny how things change for the better.

You stood up and cleared your throat. You grabbed the gum you had gotten and shoved it into your back pocket, grabbed the flip phone you got to stay in contact with Russel, and finally slung the guitar over your shoulder. "Bye Muddz! I'm headin out. I'll walk or get a ride. Don't get my car wrecked!" You called out to him as you walked out of the door. No response.

Again, you shrugged it off, and made your way down the road to the bar.

---
The bar smelt of cheap liquor and tobacco. Just the way you liked it.

You hopped up on stage with no hesitation, and plopped down on the bar stool. You looked to your right and gave the owner a thumbs up. He smiled in response. The level of noise in the room remained the same, until you cleared your voice against the microphone. You were beyond used to this, now. You had down this type of thing a thousand times before. It was like your regular job now.

You began to tap your foot, getting into the rythem before gently strumming your guitar in tune. Once it sounded perfect, you began to play. You played a medley of a few older songs you knew. Starting with Lithium by Nirvana, and ending with Porch by Pearl Jam. Applauds flooded the bar, along with some whistling from older men. But you were okay with it by now.

You left as you arrived, all at once. Except for the stack of money in your back pocket. You had gotten paid about $50 for the show, and got about $15 from the crowd. Along with a few phone numbers.

You waited outside the bar like usual, ready for Murdoc to stumble out horny and shit faced. But this time, it didn't happen. You shouldn't be worried he wasn't drunk at your show, but you were. You suddenly felt the way you hadn't felt in a long time...

Anxious.

You hastily made your way back to the motel, knocking on the door before you opened it. "M...Muddz?" You called out softly as you walked into the room.

"Ah! (Y/n)!...fuck..."

You dropped the guitar next to you, the neck snapping like your heart. You stared into the eyes of the woman he was over. And the woman he was inside of. She smiled at you, a devious smile. It filled you to the brim with anger. You gritted your teeth and huffed steam from your nose. This wasn't the first time. But every time he swore it wouldn't ever happen again. You usually got mad and cried, but this time was different. You weren't going to cry. You were changed now. You were stronger. You cleared your throat and walked over to the dresser. You stripped, the whole room falling quiet. You grabbed a shirt, jeans, and a jacket from your drawer. You put it on. "I'm leaving." You announced, grabbing a ton of cash from the drawer below yours. "I'm done."

Murdoc hopped up and threw on his boxers. "What the bloody hell do ya mean..."

"I mean what I said. I am leaving. I talked to a man a few nights ago. He said he could get me a deal in England. I'm leaving."

Murdoc choked on his breath and nearly fell. He grabbed hold of your wrist and yanked you back, causing you to lose your balance. You almost toppled over, but he caught you. "Ya... youre being hasty..." he argued. His hand was sweaty against your cold wrist. "No, I'm not. I've thought about this." Your heart dropped to your stomach. You had thought about it, but just about how you would never leave Murdoc.

Now here you were. Doing just that. You grabbed your car keys.

You walked to the door, no second thoughts. You opened it and put one foot out. "I loved you, Murdoc. So fucking much. But of course you don't care.  You're just mad I'm leaving because you need me for the band. Well... screw your band. Screw you to Hell. Get that slut  in our bed to write music and sing..."

He was  speechless, on the floor on his knees. He stared up at you, his eyes a bit watery.

"Oh... and don't you ever come to my concerts." You hissed, before slamming the door.

---
Not even five minutes later, you broke down in your car. You sobbed for hours, remembering everything that you loved about that son of a bitch. But you couldn't go back, you had to go through with this. You pulled out the flip phone and went to your contacts. First, you texted Russel and said you were gone.

Next, you texted the man who offered you a deal.

And just like that, your life changed again.