Daybreak (Bucky Barnes Fan Fiction)

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The Next Day

I was so excited to get back to Bucky. I left my bags in the car and made my way inside. The constant, heavy rain put me behind on my estimated arrival time. It was around 10:30am. Sam was sleeping, sprawled out across the only sofa in the living room. Natasha sat in the floor, leaning against the sofa with a magazine in hand. Steve sat in the recliner. I think he had been talking but he stopped when I walked in.

"Where is he?" I asked, crinkling my brows together.

"Hasn't come out of the room much." Natasha replied, looking up from the magazine. "He had another rough night. We didn't have to intervene but he was yelling in his sleep."

"I thought it was best if none of us went in there and woke him up." Steve spoke quietly. "He'd only be more pissed with himself if he hurt one of us."

I left the living room and made my way back to the room I shared with him, nearly skipping the entire way. I was so anxious and excited. I couldn't believe I missed him this much. I pushed open the door and found him standing by the window.

His hands were balled in tight fists. His hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, but a few pieces fell out.

"Hey, sweetheart—,"

"Don't." His broken voice cut me off. "Please....  Just go."

"What's wrong, Bucky?" I asked immediately. He refused to turn to face me, but I could see his broad, tense shoulders rise as he took a shaky breath.

"I'm-I'm loosing control." He choked out. I closed the door to the room behind myself and tucked a piece of dirty blonde hair behind my ear.

"Turn around and look at me, sugar. You won't hurt me. I trust you"

He hesitated, taking a few minutes before doing as I requested. With the cloudy skies outside and the lights off in the room, the lighting was poor. A shadow was casted over his face, making his cheekbones look almost hollow. His gray-blue eyes stared ahead, avoiding eye contact. His left fist clenched and unclenched, clenched and unclenched, clenched and unclenched. I took steps towards him, watching the way his jaw muscles moved underneath his scruffy cheek. He was grinding his teeth.

"Bucky." I murmured gently, reaching out to touch his right arm.

When my fingers made contact with the light gray material of his long sleeve, his eyes closed. I rubbed from his shoulder, down to his elbow, then paused for a moment.

"I'm right here, sweetheart." I reminded him quietly. I continued to move my hand down to his hand, where I laced our fingers together. "You don't have to be afraid anymore."

"He's trying.... He's trying so hard." Bucky spoke through his teeth. "He's trying to take over."

"Why?"

He shook his head just slightly.

"Take a deep breath, sugar. You need to calm down."

He shook his head again. I needed to try something else. I leaned up and began to press little kisses to his chest where the collar of his shirt met flushed skin. Then, I moved to kiss his lips a softly a few times. After a heartbeat of complete silence, his eyes opened and he looked at me. The gray color turned a little more blue than gray, and that's when I knew he was doing good.

I smiled up at him and rubbed his arm. Bucky pulled me into a tight hug, arms firmly wrapping around my waist. I couldn't do much to hold him at the time being, so I just let him do the holding.

"Talk to me, sweetheart." I murmured, taking a gentle hold of his biceps to guide him over to the edge of the bed. "Tell me about it." He all but collapsed on to the edge of the bed and pushed his head into my upper stomach as I stood in front of him.