Daybreak (Bucky Barnes Fan Fiction)

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Rain came down in sheets as I pulled up in front of Joey's house. I put the car in park and sat there for a few moments, gazing at the home of my brother-in-law and his family. Was I suppose to call him that still? Oh well.

With a sigh, my eyes shifted to the backpack of Bucky's that sat in the passenger seat next to me. I wanted to keep it close. I reached over and pulled out the journal of his that I hadn't been able to bring myself to read. It didn't feel right to invade something so personal of his but I wanted to know what was on the inside.

The first page had his full name written down in the same scratchy handwriting but the writing seemed to be stressed at some times. It was like Bucky would write his name down if he thought he would forget or if he was afraid he would forget. The second page was the same. James Buchanan Barnes had to be written nearly three hundred times by the fourth page. Then the fifth page revealed what I was dreading. There was a list of names, most of which I didn't recognize. The names were put into two columns. In the first column, I recognized the names of former President John F. Kennedy, Howard Stark, and Jasper Sitwell. In the second column, which was extremely short, I recognized Steve's name, Natasha's name, and my own.

I read over the lists numerous times, trying to think of what they meant. Then it hit me. The first column was of people the Winter Soldier had assassinated. The second was of the targets that had gotten away. On the back of the page of the Winter Soldier's victims and the ones that were lucky was another list. This time, it had more familiar names on it. Jasper Greene, Irene Lee, Bradley Downing, Felix Jospin, Cisco Castello, and Angel Morro were all on that list.

I locked my jaw, brushing my thumb over the letters. It was evident that when Bucky wrote the list, he pressed down into the paper with a lot of force. This had to be a list of innocent people who were caught between the Winter Soldier and his targets. As I read over it for probably the tenth time, I realized one name was missing. Riggs wasn't in the list. Why?

I turned the page and found a journal entry. He dated it before they arrived at my home in January, before I met him. This one was about his dreams. I turned the page and kept doing so until I got to a page that had something interesting on it.

1-23-2015
She doesn't sleep good. She's always awake and wandering through the house. I saw her this morning in the kitchen. I think I scared her. She brought up being a P.O.W. She seems a little on edge around everyone. Like me. The slightest movements spook her. She doesn't like guns. Neither do I really. She can make things explode. She asked me if I wanted to go with her out to the lake since neither of us could sleep. I didn't think she liked talking but when we were on the dock she wouldn't stop. Not that I'm complaining. Her voice is pretty. This is getting stupid.

I smiled softly, remembering exactly what he had written about. That was the first night I actually talked to Bucky. I turned the page and continued to read. This one was dated for the same day as the previous journal entry.

1-23-2015
Romanoff told us what happened to Widia to make her the way she is. She was married or not married I don't know. He was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and a part of her team. They were sent to Uzbekistan six years ago to retrieve hostages. I think I'm the reason she has so many problems.

My lips parted as I reread the small section of his writing. He didn't show any signs of knowing about the incident before he told me. Why didn't he tell me before I had to hear it from my father? I shook my head and closed the journal, deciding that I'd read more later. Searching my surroundings briefly, I pulled the hood to my jacket over my head and left the safety of the car. By the time I got to the porch of Joey's house, I was soaking wet. I took a few moments to lean against the door, then I knocked. Beth answered.