I just want to be OK. And mean it when I say I'm fine. I'm not. I'm far from it. I'm just lieing to protect you. I don't want to worry you so I'm fine. Yet when your not ok it makes me angry and worried and I beg you to tell me what's wrong but I know you don't want to cuz you don't like me worrying. That's how I feel so I don't tell you. I don't tell you when it's so bad I'm crying as I type my texts to you. I don't tell you when my hands are shaking from the tears and I can't even type. I don't tell you cuz I love you. Not because I don't trust you, because I don't want to loss you.
