it's getting bad again, it's dark all the time, yes I smile and laugh with my friends, but it's not the same as being actually happy. The bad thoughts don't go away now, they're always there always haunting me, I wish you understood what it's like to always hate yourself to never feel like you are not.I wish you understood what it's like to always hate yourself to never feel like you are enough. What kind of 15 year old girl and scars marking her body from herself because she hates herself so much that the sight of her own blood makes her happy? People that don't have depression, don't understand it. They say "just be happy" you think I chose to "just be depressed?" a simple is just be happy there would not be depression, there would not be people consciously sitting there, thinking if I slit my wrists in the bathtub at least there won't be a mess for summer if I jump out in front of a car, it's no one's fault.a simple is just be happy there would not be depression, there would not be people consciously sitting there, thinking if I slit my wrists in the bathtub at least there won't be a mess for some one to clean up, or if I jump off a cliff it's no one's fault. These are not thoughts that should go through a 15 year old's head, but their the thoughts that never leave mine.
