I watch as the wind blows through the trees and I think "why can't I be free?" I watch as the flowers bloom and I think "why can't I be bright?" I watch the the creek water rushes by and i think "why can't I go with what is happening?" I watch as life passes me by and I think.......Why can't I just be happy..? That's all I want. To be truly happy again, to not fake a smile but mean it. To not force a laugh but feel it. I just want to be what i was. Happy, just really happy. Smiling all the time laughing till I'm in pain. What happened to the girl I was? What happened to the girl I wanted to be? What the hell happened to life? When did it become so dramatic and worthless. Life isn't worth living anymore. Don't people understand that when someone has the "cat scratches" all of a sudden. Or the odd bruises that we are silently screaming for someone, anyone, to help us? We want help. We want to be happy. But we aren't and we won't be...till we finally drag the blade a few inches too deep and watch as the blood runs the water in the stream. Watch as the blood pools by us bright red like the roses and watch as the life that passed us by, stops. All at once. Finally no more pain, no more tears. Just empty darkness. Just quite. Just death.
