I feel so lost. Like nothing I ever do is enough. I feel like everything I love is slipping away from me. Its’s
so cold in my heart. Like no heat or love can actually get in. No physical wound hurts as bad as a broken
soul. No cut or bruise is as bad as a word. I can pull a knife out and use a bandage to heal myself. A
word? That is stuck in my soul forever. Nothing will ever fix a broken girl that doesn’t feel like she
deserves to be fixed. She’s just trying to get though another day. But each day is such a battle, each day
she feels like the world would be better if she wasn’t in it. She knows that people love her but she can’t
make her mind know that. Let alone make her heart accept it. You see she feels like she’s not worthy of
breathing. Like….she’s being punished for just being depressed. She tries to feel happy and know that
people love her but she has voices in head that say she isn’t good enough for love, to be loved. And who
can blame her? I mean she had “friends” that told her she was fat, that she wasn’t pretty. So when they
say it now she just thinks they lie to make her feel better. She’s just a kid but her soul has more years
then her body. Most people when that is said means they have an old soul. Like maybe a past life and
the soul went to a new body but with her it was dealing with problems that a 20 year old would since
she was 7 years old. She grew too fast and it wasn’t fair to her. No one should have the stress she does
at such a young age. But then again no one should have that kind of stress at all. Let alone a kid. She
feels like a burden to everyone she meets. They say they like talking to her. They say that she can tell
them anything but she knows she can’t. She knows not to tell them what goes on inside her head. That
there are voices telling her not to eat, not to get close to anyone cause they will leave her alone and
broken even more than she already is. She doesn’t mean to come off as mean but “the best way to not
have your heart broken is to pretend you don’t have one.” Don’t tell her that she’s pretty or beautiful.
Tell her you’re proud of her. Tell her she did a good job on that test even though she only got a C tell
her you are proud she did her best, you know why? She had a panic attack during that test, so tell her
you’re happy she tried her best. There is so much more you can do then focus on her looks. Yes she feels
insecure about that too but work up to that. For now, let her know you like her personality, that’s all she
really needs for now.
