somebody else: lrh au

"You can't just skinny dip in the ocean!"

Kylie

The night continued, Emma making three batches of cookies and Celeste throwing up over the balcony, Holly following after. "Why don't ya'll go home, and take like three bottles of Pepto Bismol." Emma said, and the girls eventually left. Ashton passed out on the couch, so it left Emma, Calum, Luke and I together.

"Hey, do you guys ever want to like, drive for six hours straight? But like, at 11 at night?" Emma asked from her laying-down position on the floor, making me hum. "All the time." Luke said, and I heard Calum sigh. "And I thought I was emo." He muttered, me laughing lightly.

"Emma, do you ever like, think of marriage? I only ask because you're the only one in a steady relationship right now." I asked, winking subtly at Calum. "That's right, 6 years bitch. Anyways, I don't know. I do think of my wedding day, but I don't see it to be anytime soon. I don't really want to get married until I'm in like, my seventies. Marriage is just such a huge thing, you know? You're literally sharing your entire life with someone. Can you imagine? Just, like, loving someone so much you'd be willing to like, inherit their debt and have their kids or whatever.

"Anyways, yeah. If you're asking if I would get married to Calum, yes, I would. In a literal heartbeat. The response I just gave you was if it were to be some fucking- rando on the street or from highschool. Calum's a whole different story. One I'm too drunk and too tired to tell." Emma rambled, telling me more than what I thought I was going to get.

"O-okay, cool. I was expecting a simple yes or no, but cool. Anyways, we should go to the beach." I offered, Emma snorting. "Why? Like sure, I'm all for contracting that rust-disease and dying, but why now?" Emma said, and moved from the floor to across Calum's lap. "I don't know. You just said something about driving for six hours and I didn't question it." I scoffed, and Emma nodded. "Fair enough."

"Off to the beach then!"

After convincing Ashton to go back to his house, we all piled into Emma's car to drive to the beach. "Edgy teens, edgy teens." Emma sang, making Luke roll his eyes. "We're literally adults, Emma. Just because you and Luke are the same age doesn't make you less of one." I said, and Emma huffed. "Stop ruining my vibe." She said, and I snorted. "What is this, 2016?" And Calum shuddered.

"Bad times." We all agreed, and I soon saw the ocean come into view. Emma parked, and we milled out of the tiny car. Emma took her shoes off, and opted to roll up her pants. "I'd take them off altogether, but Luke is here. Actually, fuck him. No offence." She said, and then began to take off the rolled pants. "Wow, okay." Luke said, and we left her behind to start walked to the actual beach.

I sat on a convenient bench, and tried to listen only to the ocean waves crashing against the sand. I looked at the moon to see the occasional bird fly by, and felt weight shift the bench. "Hello, Calum." I said, and he said 'Hello' back to me. "If you're here to talk about Emma, woman up and talk to her yourself." I said, and he sighed. "No, I'm here to listen to the ocean. And, because Emma said she lost her pants and I don't want help her look for them."

"How does she- nevermind." I huffed, and closed my eyes. I sat like that for a good ten minutes, until i almost fell asleep. "Emma, you can't just skinny dip in the ocean!" Calum yelling woke me up, me blinking unevenly until I felt orientated enough to pay attention. I checked my phone and saw that Luke had posted on Instagram.

It was a picture of who appeared to be Emma, her silhouette at least. It had the ocean behind her, and the occasional star littering around. dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight is what he captioned it, and I swiped left to see the other pictures. In one photo it had me, my eyes closed on the bench. In another it had Calum sitting in the ocean, Emma laughing with a wide smile behind him. I read one comment that made me laugh, them saying "glad to see luke's still alive and he still has his hoes" and another saying "at first i thought this was one of luke's sidechicks but then i saw ki and realized it was emma whoops".

"Photographer of the year." I told Luke, him laughing shortly. "The moon looks real pretty tonight." He said, and I chuckled. "Not as pretty as you." I awkwardly said, and finger-gunned him. He looked at me in disbelief for two seconds, and rolled his eyes in a playful way. "You know, for the longest time, I never understood why people were so in love with the night sky. All the songs. The poems. It wasn't until I was broke and almost homeless did I start to see it's beauty." Luke breathed, and I hummed. "There's something about the moon that makes me want to like, paint someone or write a song. I don't know." He finished, and I smiled.

"It kind of makes me want to kiss someone, honestly." I admitted, and he chuckled. "Me too." We both continued to stand, craning our necks upward. We started to walk down the beach, until we were a safe distance from Emma and Calum. "You know, tonight's made me realize something." I started, sitting on another bench.

"I hated you for so long. I blamed everything on you. I let myself believe that you made me into the worst version of myself. But I was wrong, I admit. But you know, even through the worst of it, a part of me still loved you. I still held onto this image of you, where you and I were perfect with our perfect child. We almost had it too, but then I- anyways." I choked, thinking back to the morning where all I could see was blood.

"Anyways, basically Luke, this is everything I didn't say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for shutting you out. I'm sorry for avoiding you, but I'd like to say that I'm also not sorry. And in the midst of all these emotions, I'd like to say I really never stopped loving you. Ever. If I ever say otherwise, I'm lying. You always had a score on my heart, from the moment I first heard you on the radio till the day I walked out. I hate you for it, but I can just never go by without thinking of you." Luke shifted, and looked at me.

And under the night sky at 4 in the morning, I grabbed Luke by the neck and kissed him with all the emotion I could try to convey.

lol i h8 myself it's two in the morning and i have church tomorrow

anyways i was tearing up thinking about Everything I Didn't Say but anyways
also yes ki had a miscarriage and that was kind of the start of their problems ok

also i'm not going to edit this because my eyes hurt and i'm sad goodnight love all you 198 readers