The Delinquent // Phan AU

Chapter 22: Fools

<{*Phil Lester*}>

School had started up once again - but only for the Year 11s. The rest would still have to do work online, as parts of the building were still undergoing repair, and by the time the entire thing would be completely fixed and refurbished, it'll be summer. However, the Year 11s couldn't miss their GCSEs, and sending the year to another school now would just be useless; not to mention the amounts of stress it will add onto all the studying.

"You swear you'll start concentrating in lessons now GCSEs are here?" Phil had questioned Dan just as they passed through the gates, prepared for reading books and taking down notes with two empty notepads in his backpack along with every textbook and reading book you could ever need.

And, as per usual, Dan stood empty-handed with nothing prepared whatsoever, "Sure - but you may want to keep those textbooks at hand just in case I 'miss' something." He smirked, hands shoved into his jacket pockets.

Phil rolled his eyes at him - well, what else did he expect?

"Phil!"

Phil spun around to see Chris, Cat and all his other friends.

"Guys!"

They sped up to each other, Phil almost slipping of course, but he reached his friends just in time for them to catch him. They squeezed each other tight in a big group hug. It felt like he hadn't seen them in forever, even though it had only been around four months, but the only person from school he saw - practically lived with - was Dan.

The group laughed together, sharing what they did while they were gone and just joking around. It was only a few minutes later that Phil realised - he had left Dan behind. He twisted around, only to see - Dan had disappeared.

Phil frowned, in which his friends clearly noticed.

"Phil, bud, what's up?" Chris smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.

Phil sighed, "Nothing.."

Chris nodded doubtfully, before the group decided to shuffle into the building.

<{**}>

I am tired of this place, I hope people change.
I need time to replace what I have away..
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small.
Though I try to resist, I still want it all..

Dan definitely didn't keep his promise; it had only been a week and Phil's timetable had near enough doubled, him having to fit in both studying for himself and helping Dan with stuff he ignored. Honestly, it could have been worse - the boys mostly had the same subjects to work on apart from one or two here and there, so Phil didn't have to go through things he hadn't been working on.

Nonetheless, he was still stressing out. It was getting to the point where Phil didn't even have enough hours in the day to do everything. He had dropped hanging out with his friends and was getting less and less sleep with every night that passed.

What left him clueless though, was how everyone hadn't noticed.

Looking in the mirror, Phil could see what the damage had done. His eyelids were drooping, large bags swinging under them that hadn't been there a month prior. His face was more sullen, and was more of a a sickly pale colour than it usually was. Worst of all, his eyes were no longer oceans, nor were they as icy as the Atlantic. They had greyed, smoky, dark colours - broken.

He hated what he'd become.

And yet no one had even remotely done anything about it, let alone realise.

Every last bit of his free time was washed away, he was loosing contact with his friends - slowly drifting away from them day after day. All the while, he didn't blame those friends, or the GCSEs in general. It wasn't their fault, and he had to do the GCSEs, if he wanted to get a good job when he was older. He didn't blame himself either...he blamed Dan.

If Dan would have been bothered to study, been bothered to listen in class, then this wouldn't have happened. He'd be less stressed, less on-edge, and less panicky about everything. Don't get him wrong, Phil loved Dan more than anyone ever could..would..but he drove him insane.

Things were getting so bad, Phil had to act like his usual self to keep his reputation up, and had even been applying some of his mum's make-up to make him look more healthy. That's probably why people hadn't noticed.

By the time it came to the week before the actual exams, Phil had gone crazy. His sweet nature had gone to shit and it was as if he had been muted. He didn't speak during class, was always in his room and near enough only ever spoke to Dan; by force.

Phil had given up too much of his time for Dan, and knew he didn't deserve his help.

And he still did, he did everything for that boy. What did he get back? Nothing. But he still trusted him.

He still loved him. After everything he'd done, he still loved him.

He still saw a future with Dan, and he didn't know why. How had he not realised how terrible things had become? It was beyond Phil, he had never been in such a state. There was even a voice in the back of his head, telling him that Dan actually knew. He knew what Phil was going through, knew he was finding it difficult, and just wanted to see him suffer.

I see swimming pools, and living rooms, and aeroplanes...
I see a little house, on the hill, and children's names...
I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray..

But Dan would never...would he?

But everything is shattering and it's my mistake..

'HIS MISTAKE!'

Phil sat in his room, quietly shuffling around paper after paper. They were scattered all around him, a pile of endless textbooks and papers per subject. His laptop sat at the end of his bed; the screen had gone black while he was thinking.

He began singing under his breath, "Only fools fall for you, only fools..."

He shifted all piles into three individual ones on the side of his bed.

"..Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.."

He climbed off of his bed.

He repeated, "Only fools fall for you, only fools..."

He opened the door to his room and galloped down the stairs.

"Only fools do what I do..."

Phil passed the living room, ignoring the brothers who were sat on the sofa with the TV on; Dan being sat on his laptop while Adrian played with a dinosaur figure and watched cartoons.

He wandered into the kitchen, opening up a draw in the corner where the sink was. His eyes lay upon a shining silver blade, the biggest in the house. Clutching the handle, he turned to look over his shoulder just in time to see Dan run up the stairs.

Phil had had enough.

"Only fools fall..."

~~~~~~~~~~

AN: I'm not even sorry X)