The Delinquent // Phan AU

Chapter 23: Pacify His Lowlife

Old suitcase, clean getaway
I'm the one who takes the blame again
New day but the same lines
I feel like the victim of the dollar sign.

Phil trotted back up the stairs, knife held tightly in hand. Getting rid of his problems wouldn't be as simple as just blanking them out entirely - he knew life didn't work that way, and eventually it would just come back to bite him in the arse. If he trully wanted to erase all problems in life, he'd have to result in erasing someone's life.

All these years on my own
Fight my fight all alone
'Til you came, don't you know
Don't you know...

Dan had gone into Phil's - their - room, and was seemingly searching for something in his bag. Gladly for him, he was given permission to move out whenever he wanted on his birthday, meaning he was actually living with Phil. What started off astounding though, soon became antagonizing. Phil's spare time was thrown out of the window, as if Dan was hogging him - wanting him all to himself.

Baby, you're the highlight of my lowlife..

'HE'S GETTING ON MY NERVES!'

Take a shitty day and make it alright..

'STOP LYING WITH THOSE WORDS..'

Oh, in every circumstance
Yeah you make the difference
Baby, you're the highlight of my lowlife

'Stop lying with those words...'

Phil stepped into the room, tight-lipped and soundless. Dan was still shoving through everything in his large, black and red backpack, and obviously hadn't noticed he wasn't alone. Soon enough, Phil was right behind the boy, looking under his nose at him without lowering his head. Tranqilly, he rose the blade to chest height, ready to do the deed...

This bad taste, these headaches
Wake up on the floor again,
My torn dress, this failed test
Soon they will be erased..

"Go on then...what are you waiting for?"

Phil froze stiff, knife to chest, deadly silent. Dan twisted around to look at the paralyzed boy, immobile and calm. But how?

He just stared. Phil was clueless on how he didn't fear the boy who towered over him, the sharpest knife in hand. It was unbelievable how brave he was.

All these years on my own
Fight my fight all alone
'Til you came, don't you know
Don't you know..

Dan sighed, standing from his position and looking into Phil's eyes.

"I kinda knew you would want to do this sooner or later.." He shrugged, a weak smile plastered across his face. "Get it over with, I understand..."

Phil felt his bottom lip quiver, him now holding the object with both hands as the sharp blade pointed down to the ground. His vision became blury, until the detail on Dan's face had vanished.

Baby, you're the highlight of my lowlife

'He's getting on my nerves...'

Take a shitty day and make it alright

'Stop lying with those words!'

Oh, in every circumstance

Yeah, you make the difference

Baby, you're the highlight of my lowlife

'STOP LYING WITH THOSE WORDS...'

The figure he stood before grew larger, to the point where Phil felt the soft touch of lips on his. A salty tear ran down his cheek, then another and another. One after the other. Dan pulled away, seeing Phil's state, and placing a hand on his cheek. Outwardly taken aback when he wiped away a tear and seeing that Phil was wearing make-up.

Phil let him carry on - he needed to see what he'd done.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dan asked after finishing, standing back a little.

"Because I didn't want you to see the damage you'd done." Phil sniffled.

Dan observed his face, his entire body as a matter of fact, noticing the key points where the blue boy had changed. Phil was skinnier than before, and his face was more sunken too. He payed close attention to his eyes though, almost scanning them.

And I get so lonely
I can't make it on my own
And I need to call ya
"Can you come to my chateau?"

Phil gritted his teeth, wanting to show no mercy to himself. What had he done? Did he really just try and murder his best friend; his boyfriend?

He played with the knife in his hands.

Looking at the weapon in a strange way, he slowly changed it's direction from the sharper end facing downward, to it facing the bottom of his stomach.

"Don't..."

Dan placed both hands over Phil's, making his own hands come to a halt just before the blade touched his shirt. The pleasant feeling of warmth on his icy hands made Phil tingle as his sanity began to increase once more. Phil's body was shaky, and he looked up at Dan with sorrowful, petrified eyes. Dan just smiled weakly, and exhaled.

"I know I can be an absolute nuisance sometimes, which is why it's okay for you to go ahead. I don't care about myself, and being honest, the reason why I miss things in class all the time is because I'm too busy worrying myself about how much I must annoy you...sounds funny, right?"

TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS AND
HOLD ME TIGHT, YEAH, PULL ME CLOSE
WHISPER IN MY EAR
ALL I WANT YOU TO SAY IS...

He went on, "I completely understand if you want to get rid of me; you just had to at some point. I've known from the start how much I would and have hurt you - something tells me you knew also...but you stuck by me longer than anyone else ever has, and therefore, you sadly got the worst of my ways...I'm sorry, Phil.."

Phil couldn't comprehend everything at once - it was a massive jumble of words, almost like a puzzle. But he pieced everything together.

'He knew from the start, but did I?'

You did...

'Why is he letting me do this so easily? Why hasn't he stopped me?'

Because he loves you...

'Have I lost my mind? Why can't I think straight?'

You've fallen in love...

'Is this it for me?'

Not while he's with you...

That was it. Phil burst into tears, throwing the knife onto the floor and falling into Dan's arms pitifully. His head dug into Dan's chest, his knees bent uncomfortably so he was at the right level. He sobbed into Dan's top.

It's ridiculous how almost murdering someone is what it takes to realise how much they mean to you...

"Phil, look up..." Dan whispered.

He lifted his head up and gazed into the loving pools that were Dan's eyes. Dan had his hands on Phil's jawline, his fingers below his ears. Gently, he tugged the boy up a little and kissed him again, streams running down their faces.

And he thought killing him would Pacify His Lowlife...

~~~~~~~~~~

AN: You're welcome

Song: Pacify her x Lowlife (Mashup)