Mom (Hamilsquad)

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Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts and Death

At the end of my first year in high school, mom said we were moving to New York. Mom always made decisions without even asking my input. Soon enough I found myself unpacking in our new apartment with her help, I sat on the floor in my room looking for my notebook that I'd written feverishly in during my trials and tribulations at my old school's writing club.

Finally, I called out a question to my mother who was in the hallway, "Mom! Where is my notebook?" I couldn't find it and considering moms always seem to magic things out of nowhere when they're missing, I decided to ask her.

"I threw it out." She replied innocently, not even bothering to poke her head into my door frame as she did.

"What?" I felt my stomach hallow out, that book was my life! I needed it! I had to write in it, I really did! And all of my old works reminded me how far I've come to now, I used them to improve upon what I'd written.

Mom finally turned into my room, leaning against the door frame as she gave her explanation, "You promised you wouldn't join any clubs at your new school." She said as if it was obvious, "So you don't need it anymore." She took her pain pill, she had something that required medicine though I never was bothered enough to ask what it was.

I felt angry so I stood up, dropping the box I'd been going through, "Give me a break!" I headed towards her, "You didn't have to throw it out!" I decided I needed to calm down so after I reached her I hung a left and walked out, going on a walk so I didn't do anything stupid in my anger though I made damn sure I slammed the door on my way out. Even when I was little, mom got a divorce without saying anything to me first. Why couldn't she just tell me these things before she does them?


"Alexander, right?" I looked up from the book I was reading to see some guy with freckles and curls in a ponytail talking. I nodded and he smiled, "Walk home with us!" He offered and I shrugged, I had nothing better to do. I knew this boy was named John.

Soon we were joined by two others, they introduced themselves as Hercules and Lafayette. They'd said something about a tour around the city and soon we found ourselves on a bridge, "Where should we go?" John asked.

"My bakery!" Laf's voice cut in, his French accent thick. So this guy has a bakery?

"Sounds good," Herc said, shrugging and looking over at Laf thoughtfully. The three of them had already told me about how they're all dating in a poly relationship. I was cool with that as I would be okay to be in a poly relationship myself.

John's voice then cut in, "We're starting out Alexander tour with that?" He asked and stuck his tongue out at Laf as he said, "It's not even famous." They started play arguing but I realized my phone was buzzing so I stepped away from the group to read my new text messages.

[Mom] Where are you? We need to go to the hospital. Stop playing around and come home this instant.

I rolled my eyes, she was being a real pain as of late. I don't need a hospital anymore, my mind is fine and I'm not sick anymore. Why did she have to keep trying to make me go places I don't want to go?!

[Alex] I don't want to go anymore. You're not a child you can go alone. Stop bothering me.

We'd both go to the hospital every week for our mental health and to make sure the sickness we suffered when I was younger hadn't returned but I didn't want to go and if she was so concerned she could just go herself!

"Alex! Let's go!" John said, I looked to see that they'd already walked quite a bit away from me. I hurried to catch up while telling myself that I needed to stop focusing so much on my mother, I was a teenager and I should be out doing teenage things! I'll apologize to her later.

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