Frozen Twilight Book Two: Independent ||Completed||

My First Ever

*Elsaira Moon*

After me telling Hans that I wouldn't get into a relationship with him a few days back, he's kept insisting. As if thinking I'll get annoyed one day and accept him.

However, that's not how it works. Now that I am older, I understood Edward and Tanya's situation, you just didn't like them, but they just wouldn't stop insisting. Thinking Tanya likes Edward still made me think they weren't fit for each other. Like an instinct telling me they weren't meant to be. Maybe I was going crazy.

With Hans I know he only wants me to control me. Why? Becuase ever since I came I have made my mark that I am not someone who is told what to do. Manny and Idun know that far too well. I am also someone who doesn't like to control. Idun always said, a King makes the most orders than a Queen. A Queen is there to love him, support him, and stand by his side. Or as I like to call it, sitting still and looking pretty.

That wasn't the life for me. If I were to be Queen, I would want to rule with someone I love. Sounds cliché but it's true. If I cannot find the person, then I shall rule by myself. I don't need someone telling me what to do.

I played my piano and suddenly something came to mind. Something I had only done a few times but never actually finish.

I played a tune, and opened my mouth slightly. I thought about something slightly and then I knew what to say.

"Could dress up, to get love, but guess what? I'm never gonna be that girl, who's living in a Barbie World." I sang softly along with the tone my piano played.

I stopped playing and ran those lyrics over and over in my head. I walked across the library to get a paper and a pencil. I wrote them down then sat back down at my piano with my lyrics in front of me.

I played again and thought of more.

"Sure I'm a pretty girl up in a pretty world.....but they say pretty hurts....." I sang. It could work. I wrote it down and sighed.

"Mr. Hans, could be nice for one night but then he wanna take control, and I would rather fly solo." I sang and smiled as it was good. I wrote it down then stared at it.

I'd have to cross off Hans, don't want anybody seeing that. But what could I put instead? I asked myself as I crossed off Hans. Ooh I know! I then write 'Right' on top. Mr. Right.

I sighed and looked at my progress. It seemed easy enough. Throughout my time in the library I wrote more and more and edited what I had, I erased and crossed out.

I then decided I was finished so I walked back to my room, folded my paper in 4 and saved it in a clean fresh notebook. I hid the notebook under my mattress and walked downstairs. It was time for dinner. I walked in took a seat and waited for the rest. One everyone came, a maid came, washed our hands and they brought in our food.

"Well, would anyone like to share how their day has gone?" Idun asked and Manny cleared his throat.

"I shall go first. I invited Goddess Aphrodite tomorrow to join us for dinner." Manny said and Anna eyes beamed.

"Ooh isn't she the Goddess of Love?" Anna asked and Idun nodded.

"Yes, so I expect you both to be on your best behavior." Idun said and both Anna and I nodded.

"Of course." I said.

"I spent my time drawing." Anna said and Idun smiled. Anna loved to paint. It seemed as if she really wanted to be an artist. She has gotten into art classes at school and she loves to draw to take her mind off of things.

"What about you, Elsaira?" Manny asked me.

"I was playing my piano in the library." I said not wanting to tell them about my song writing. They nodded pleased and we continued to eat.

"Elsaira, Hans came again. He talked as to how he encountered you in the streets of Arendelle with Nettie and the guards again, and how you rejected him, once again." Manny said.

"I was serious when I told him I was not going to be in a relationship anytime soon." I said and Manny sighed and nodded.

"He said he was in love with you." Idun said and Anna chuckled.

"Oh please, we're 13 years old. What do we know about love? He doesn't love me, trust me. If he loved me like he says he does, he would respect my decision rather than pressure me." I said to Manny and Idun.

"Don't you want to find your Prince, Saira? He's literally begging you. Why don't you give him a chance?" Anna said to me.

"Becuase I don't believe love is known without getting to know them. He has no idea who I am. He doesn't know what I like, what my childhood was like. He doesn't know who I truly am. He knows nothing." I said to her serious then kept eating. It was left at that and dinner continued in silence.

When I finished, I excused myself and went up to my room. I looked up at the moon and sighed. I hummed the tune of the song I had written and closed my eyes. I imagined myself now but with the Cullen's. How would I have looked like if I were still Bella? How would they treat me? Would I be there and live happy? Would they treat me different? Would they get tired of me? So many questions I will never have the answer to.

"I can feel myself changing, everyday I become a new person. I just want to know what happened to my old self. My shy, quiet, obedient self. Now I'm rebellious, I do as I please sometimes, I am more confident in myself. Why? I feel like a part of me is missing and it isn't my past. It's something that I feel, I know is out there and yet I have no idea what." I said softly and sighed. I looked down at the town view. From my window I could see the streets of Arendelle, part of the forest, it was beautiful.

I then went back to my bed and fell fast asleep I kept thinking about what I was missing.

By the next day I woke up early in the morning, and Nettie accompanied me to the library with Olaf. I took my notebook and when we reached the library, I set up my book so I could see the lyrics. This time I was going to write a tune for it. I let Nettie take Olaf out to the garden so he could walk around as I stayed in the library. I closed the door and walked back to my piano.

I played and played and replayed and edited my tune until I was sure it was the perfect one. I could see why Edward used to do it so much, it's captivating, very relaxing and entertaining.

I then decided to sing the whole song together. I felt my blood pumping faster, my adrenaline kicking in, it was a feeling one can't even imagine. I could feel my blood rushing through my veins, I for once felt, happy.

When I hit the last note of my song I sighed. It's as if I can sing this and be happy. Be able to express myself much better than anything else. I smiled in proudness of myself that I had finished writing my first ever song in a matter of 3 days.

It just felt right.