Insomnia

Chapter 17: Cure

The cure.

What was it supposed to do, again? Oh yeah, right.  Cure me, and possibly the whole wide world.  But, is it too late already? Probably, probably not.  All I know is, things weren't improving for me at any rate.

"We're almost there, Caleb," Came the voice of Adrian, but I barely heard him, "Were almost home, so please, hold on..." I didn't catch whatever crap he was gonna say, because even his voice literally trailed away, it was like even my ears shut out whatever I was supposed to hear.

I was trembling and the light, even if they say was already morning, faded from me.  Right now, all I ever see are vague colors, swirling most of the time, and the dimness that always occupied my sight.

I was breathing hard now, out of guilt and out of this desire to eat something alive and squirming, and possibly raw, in fact, it'd be better if it was raw.

I clenched my teeth, what am I thinking about? Oh, I don't know, somehow even sense had its way of leaving me when this fever came back with a new different height.

I mean, it's like it was making my heart beat faster and faster than ever, making my chest feel like it's being ripped app art, and the best part of them all? I didn't have the strength to fight it, what I had now, were the handcuffs on my hands and some duct tape that covered my mouth.  Geez, it was uncomfortable, but I demanded they do it to me, anyway.

Raging like a monster once was enough for me to take the dagger and stab myself, but raging into a monster twice was enough for me to probably suffocate myself with anything, I just didn't want to hurt any of them, much less bite them, because they'd end up in the same situation I am right now, delirious to the point that my senses ceased to work properly and hungry to the extent that I might break whatever control I had for myself.

It was cold, and Kit Kat wasn't here beside me anymore, because then again, I told them to not stay any close to me, I mean, with this entire zombie like strength, I just might rip out this duct tape and kill Kit Kat right here and now.

Tears streamed down my face, I couldn't help it, I just couldn't, I almost killed my beloved girlfriend by shoving her into the windshield, which probably would damage her skull, and I practically thought of eating Adrian up, like he was some kind of meal served up for dinner. 

I cursed mentally, and my situation wasn't helping me get over myself too, because if I wanted to scratch something itchy, I couldn't.  I mean, with all this sweat and the icy cold temperature mixed together at one time, it was enough for my hands to want to scratch myself, and rub warmth into my skin.  But then again, I value their lives more than my comfort, hence my approval to this unfortunate treatment.

I so hate being me sometimes.

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking, but the light hurt them so I closed them abruptly, glad that at least I could still see, glad that even if it was temporary, I was still in the right mind, and hopefully, possibly in the right condition to accept that cure and be cured.

That cure, that little thing of hope, was it even right to hope that it'll cure me after all? Was it also right to be a little wistful with the miracles it may do for me? I still wanted to live, still wanted to go on with it, I mean, I'm 16 years old for Pete's sakes, and wouldn't it be alright for a 16 year old guy to demand his old life back? With no more complications? No more deaths? And surely no more people he'd have to risk his life for again? Was that so much to ask, anyway?

I wouldn't know, ever since they died, my life and my happiness was always sacrificed for them and only for them, it was unfair, not logically something I've always wanted, but still, it was too downright unfair for this 16 year old to experience so much hell in one lifetime! I mean, I'm human, and I've made my share of mistakes, but seriously? Was I that evil to accept life's trials with this?