Mr. Elitist [ A Novel ]

41

| Nathan |

When I was little my father took it upon himself to drill the phrase 'love makes you weak' into my head. And as a child, I believed him. Either because I thought it was actually true or because I didn't have anyone else to tell me differently. For me, his word, was the law.

And now, sitting in my office, staring at my computer screen as I attempted to get at least a little work done, I finally realized he had been wrong.

The cursor on the blank email I was trying to right blinked back at me, mocking me. It was like it knew I couldn't focus on a god damn thing because of her.

Isabella Smith.

The only woman I ever thought I might love and now she was gone. And it was my fucking fault.

After I found out about what Shawn tried to do to her I was so angry I thought my head might explode. I couldn't stand the thought he had tried to force himself on her- knowing she had a boyfriend. Who happened to be his friend.

So I drove right over to his apartment and the second he opened the door I made quick work of punching him right in the nose. He stumbled back, holding it as blood gushed from where I'd broken it. He'd cussed me out, playing dumb about why I was so mad. And I explained it to him, but not after I punched him again for good measure.

When he finally understood why I'd been so angry he tried to play it off, like she'd wanted it and I was even more disgusted with him. So I left.

I spent the next few days confused and unfocused. Ignoring Isabella's calls and texts, knowing I was hurting her but also feeling bitter because she hadn't trusted me. I couldn't believe she'd let me hang around with that asshole for almost two months before finally telling me what happened. And the worst part was, I didn't know if she ever would have said anything if it hadn't been for Rachael.

Later I realized maybe she thought I wouldn't have believed her, and I felt like a prick for reacting the way I did but by that point she'd stopped calling.

I don't know if I'd wanted her to come to my apartment and forced me to see that I was wrong like she had done so many times before. But I guess I was used to it and when she didn't appear for nearly a week I got mad all over again.

And that was when I ran into Dani. She was at a company lunch Saturday with her father and when I saw her I suddenly wondered if I could have what I'd had with Isabella with someone else. So I made the worst decision of my life and brought her home with me.

I felt sick the entire time, I couldn't even have sex with her that's how bad it was. Granted that didn't stop us from doing other things but I knew the second it was over that I'd made a horrible mistake. One I'd regret for a long time.

When I saw Isabella standing there in my entry way, tears in her eyes, looking completely disgusted by me, I could barely stand it. She was done with me. For good.

And it's been nearly two months now since I've seen her or hears from her. She'd always been persistent with me, even when I'd insisted to her that I didn't want a relationship she didn't stop trying. I'd never experienced that before. Everyone close to me in my life before had tossed me to the side so easily and then she came along and didn't give up.

I missed her terribly.

I'd become so used to seeing her everywhere in my apartment. In my kitchen cooking, in my bedroom sleeping, in my living room watching The Office and sometimes even in my office she'd come sit with me while I worked and do some of her own. I loved that the most. She was so pretty when she worked, so focused and professional. Taking it just as seriously as I did.