Slumber

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I often do lay awake like many others. I might think or I might not. I may cry or I may laugh. I find my mind in perplexing puzzles. Now where did I leave the answers. I pick at scabs on my heart and suddenly my face grows warm. My body could begin to shake. Leaving me piled up in all the mistakes. I also lie perfectly still. Waiting for the thoughts to rush in. Instead I get a paranoid feeling. Why are the walls getting smaller. This room feels suffocating. I'm suddenly tired. I grow ill with each passing hour. My body knows the nightmares could be dour. How will I function in the morning. So much to do so little I care. Oh no I just remembered. I must've forgotten to water the flowers. They droop and drag in their pot. Oh how I wish I could take their spot. What will I wear tomorrow? Something that shouts who I am. Maybe I'll even post it on the gram. Worry over likes and who will comment. Tell me I'm pretty please feed my ego. Oh look it's a minute past one o'clock. Wonder how I'll ever  wake at the time needed to be perfection. Oh silly me! Wasn't I just made that way! Of course. Wait no, they disagree. "Too fat!" "Too thin!". Will they ever leave me be? What should I change oh society please tell me? My hair? My face? Perhaps just my nose? Should I be slim in the waist but thick in the thighs? My my how will I ever achieve your standards that are ever so high? You say that if I look good all the boys will want me. My brains? Who cares!? Just learn to cook supper.

I often do lay awake like many others. And mainly I begin to wonder. How could I ever perceive myself that way? I can't, that's it. There's the answer! The puzzle is solved now I may resume my slumber.

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