Broken Pieces

Storm

If you want me to love you fully, perfectly, and unconditionally, break me. Throw my heart against a brick wall and yell at me to pick up the pieces. Give me mind blowing sex but leave me yearning for just a little bit more. Hold me tight, tell me I'm beautiful, but turn away and do the same for another. Break me. If you want my love, my tainted, damaged love, make me feel as if you could leave at any moment, and you not give a single fuck about it. Break me. Show me the love I've been given my whole life, whisper beautiful lies into my delicate ears and throw my trust away. Rip away every ounce of my being, tear me apart, kill my once beautiful, vibrant soul. Break me. Do this and I might actually love you back, fully, perfectly, and unconditionally. If you love me right, treat me like a goddess, and wrap me around you finger never wanting to let go, I'll be the one to turn against you. I'll show my fangs, sink them deep into your beating veins, and drain every bit of you out. I'll wrap my legs around another, let another man touch me in ways I told you only you ever would. I'll blow his mind from pleasure, and blow yours from pain. I'm sick, so fucking sick. You deserve someone who was taught how to accept a love as pure as yours. You'd never cheat, lie, and even contemplate breaking my heart. Fuck, why can't I accept you? What is so hard about it? I can't stand myself, I just want to escape. I don't do any of this on purpose, I get bored or tired so I try to mix things up. I'll leave you first of course and then give myself to someone else. Who holds me in the ways you never knew how, makes me feel worthy. Safe. I'll give him the mind numbing comfort I somehow have the ability to give, hold him tight letting my heart crumble at his feet. He doesn't know I'm falling while still trying to pick myself up from breaking you. I want to be there for you and with you but I've let myself be shown the other side of love. The side that is flawed, yes we were flawed but less than most. He made me feel a feeling like I could make a home in his heart and actually stay long enough to decorate the walls, make myself cozy, and stay forever. Sure I'd get mad, rip away the decor and sit in my own demise, but something about this home of a heart makes me want to redecorate, fix the things I did wrong before, and get cozy once again. You're safe, so damn safe I can't stand it. With you I know exactly where I'll be in ten years, with him it's all a mystery and I'm just so damn intrigued to stay long enough to find out. Maybe he is the wrong choice, but I feel like he's the risk I'm willing to take in order to not have to experience a mundane life. I'm sorry I couldn't make a home in your heart, it's such a nice warm and loving place, but that's just not where I want to be. You have a future out there waiting for you and my iniquitous nature just wants to tear it apart, don't let me. He knows how damn hard life is and what it's going to take to make it a successful one. You are no longer a mystery to me, he always will be. No one is better than anyone. Don't put the blame on yourself, it isn't anyone's fault but my own. I can't let myself destroy you, I just can't, you deserve so much better than what I will ever have to offer. You need someone who can look deep into your soul and know exactly what it takes to stay there and love you unconditionally. You need unconditional love, just like everyone and I don't think I can give that to you anymore. You'll always be welcome to come to me, I've been you're only one for so long just as you've been mine. I'll always be here for you when you feel like you can't turn to anyone else, I promise. I'm doing this for you, always remember that. I am the storm that comes and goes leaving the same damage. Move far enough away to where you can't even experience storms like me. I'll always love that purity that is your love, goodbye.