Broken Pieces

Burning

They say I was like a rose that had been tucked away from sunlight and left to wilt away. They say my glow faded, I became distant. To them I was like a vacant body, lifeless. They didn't know where I had gone, had you drained me of my essence? They say my fire was put out, I was wet wood left to rot. It was as if I were thrown into a barrel of toxins, chipping away. When I was around, a cloud followed. They thought you were my dreary cloud, so they  blamed you. Then I blamed you. Little did they know a flame stayed lit deep within me. When I was with you that tiny flame sparked into a great roaring fire. I was ... alive. I chased my dreams and fought against the retched forces of society. I was passionate and free. I was all those things when I was with you. I only showed myself to you. So when they say that I was dreary, I don't know what they are talking about. I felt everything more intensely, lived life more freely, and cherished my faith far greater when I was with you. It's as if only you holds the gasoline to light up my soul. Now that you're gone, I'm just me. I'm glowing they say, seem brighter they say, but I feel empty within. My flame is still lit, it's never gone out. However, it never bursts into a violent, yet beautiful fire like it did with you. Can you give away your secrets? At least tell me how you made me feel that way? Emptiness is lonely, and even as I try to fill the gaping hole you left in me I can't. No one excites me the way you do and makes me want to settle down and find home. I don't want anyone else but I also don't want you. I want to be able to feel the burning passion within myself all by myself. Everything they say I was I now am. How is it my outer shell looks so alive while I rot away from within? No one sees or understands the depths of my pain, and truly neither do I. Life feels pointless, and yet it's full of actions that are dressed up as determining factors for success. I'm not sure what's real and what's fake, my brain blurs my life into just a repetitive routine littered with restlessness and discontent. How can I be able to fix so many things except for the damage I've done to my own brain? My body is shutting down, I feel the wheels slowing down. Everyday feels as if it's my last. Why can't I go back to the simpler times? Why did those times have to be with you? Everything about my life is covered with you. Everything reminds me of you. I wish my highest and happiest moments weren't spent wrapped up in your arms. I'm trying to leak out this pain and just as I think I'm over it, it just rushes back in and engulfs me once again. I need to let you and the memories go... the promises and dreams. Tell me how, teach me the ways you got over our love so quickly.