The room is dead silent when he stops talking. One side of his face is encased in the moonlight that floods in. The hollows of his cheeks are completely on display, as well as his heavy eyelashes that cast their own shadows.
He leans into me speedi...
"The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?"
Milan Kundera, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being"
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There was a curiosity about this new life that she had to embark on. This sent her mind up in the air, but simultaneously made sense to her. When she thought of this, she could not think of anything else; not Audrey, not her parents, not even Nova. The thought of fulfilling her role as Alpha, with Caleb of course, was so fixating and intoxicating that she only packed two small duffel bags.
"Are you going to call your sister?" Caleb said, sprawled across her bed. The nearness of him and the scent that he carried was not lost on Alex, or her beast.
Alex understood there to be an option. She could or could not tell Nova the truth behind her departure. As she folded and stuffed her clothes into her bags, she weighed her options.
If she told her there would be consequences. Nova might not believe her, being the first, and the most terrifying in Alex's mind. What might her sister think of her when she told her that she was leaving with a werewolf to lead a pack of wolves that may or may not accept her because of her lack of a wolf? Nova would think that she was insane, that she had finally lost her mind. After Nova had seen Alex's collapse from Audrey's death and from her parents' death, Alex wasn't so sure that she'd be able to handle this.
But if she didn't tell her...maybe this would be some form of a gift for Nova? Maybe this would be a good thing. If Nova didn't think Alex was crazy, or joining some cult...if she thought that her sister was just moving on from her past and leaving to better herself, then she could be at peace.
Ignorance, she thought, blissful ignorance. Nova wouldn't want to follow her into the night, concerned for her. She would accept this departure, take it in her stride. Nova wouldn't have to worry about her well being any longer and could focus on her own life. Audrey-less, Parent-less, and now Alex-less.
Alex scowled, wishing that all of the thoughts didn't lead her back to Audrey. There was a circular pattern of envisioning that night, seeing and having nightmare of her being tossed out of that car - it made her sick. Her mind wouldn't let her leave it be.
Her mother was a psychologist, a good one too. She told her that reoccurring nightmares, ones of traumatic events, were the brain's way of desensitizing yourself from the incident. So that when it occurred again, it wouldn't nearly throw you off your feet so hard. Alex understood this and took it under the consideration that this recovery was to be a process, but that didn't make healing any less painful.
