the divine feminine → chris schistad

tolv

brunch with a hangover was not what nez needed. she needed to be at home, sleeping her pain away. cramps were actually a girl's enemy, and the enemy had decided to make an appearance.

"did you see your girl last night?" nez had no clue why borkis was invited. they hadn't even received their food and she already wanted to leave because of him.

"don't call her that." nez spat, not meaning to come off as bitter. "i've told you, you two need to stop with these jokes. respect that she's straight, god damn." her eyes narrowed in on borkis and julian.

"sorry i'm late." chris sat at the table. he sat across from nez, but she didn't dare look up at him to greet him good morning.

"nez, your best friend's here, now you can be in a good mood." borkis stifled a little giggle. she looked up, letting her eyes turn into slits as she squinted her eyes at the poor guy. he didn't know he was hitting a weak spot.

"chris, we heard you hooked up with someone." seb chirped, earning woo's from the boys at the table.

chris couldn't keep his eyes off of nez. he didn't know what to do or how to feel. she couldn't even look at him, that's how much he fucked up.

she wasn't only mad at chris. she was made at roman too. not for being straight; nez always made it clear that she supported roman being heterosexual even thought nez was bisexual. whenever the boys would make comments about them, she would be the first to shoot them down, reminding them that roman did not like girls. nez was more upset with the fact how roman would talk bad about the penetrators. yet, she was just like everyone else at school, with their penetrator hoodies. of course she had one.

and it left a lingering bitterness. chris was the first person she would call when it came to roman, he knew her feelings for the blonde girl. and it was never on his mind while he hooked up with her. guess that was how life could be so sweet...

"yeah, i did." chris confirmed, a small, fake grin growing at his lips. the boys shouted, earning glances from people who were in the diner.

"you did! with who? was it kara? that insanely hot third year?" henrik chimed in.

"or maybe it was mya- y'know the girl from english? the one that's totally digging william?" robin wanted to get his two cents in as well.

the chatter soon simmered down as the waiter had arrived with their food. nez took the liberty of ordering for chris, so he was surprised when his favorite breakfast had appeared in front of him.

the group ate in silence, maybe a little side comments here and there. the food was so good, they couldn't bring it in them to finish their conversation.

xavier was concerned as to why nez had upped her prozac and xanax dosage prior to that morning. he would manage her medicine, but when she woke up that morning, she claimed that the aspirin she'd taken for her headache and the midol she would be taking for her cramps would misbalance her antidepressants.

he carefully examined her body language as she ate. nez seemed to be in normal condition.

"chris, you never did tell us who you hooked up with," borkis said as he wiped his mouth. the small group was slowly finishing up their food.

"some girl from the party." chris shrugged his shoulders. "it's not like i could remember her name." at this, nez finally looked up from her food, for what seemed like to be the first time in that morning. she stared at chris dead in the eye.

"but dude, you knew almost everyone there. how could you not remember her name?" julian inquired, feeling a little lost as he noticed the gaze between nez and chris. something was not being said. and julian was naturally a nosy person, so it just didn't slide for him.

chris looked away, a flush appearing on his cheeks, indicating that he did in fact know the name of the girl he hooked up with. anyone could say that.

"i mean, i-"

and there nez went, slurping through the straw of her orange juice. she eyeballed chris as she did so, eyes narrowed in the slightest. she had intended to rudely interrupt him to let him know that she too was all ears.

chris' jaw fell slack as his eyes met her tired ones. he sighed, not wanting to answer the question anymore, but the penetrators that tagged along were curious and continued to egg christoffer on.

"i hooked up with roman szaj." chris admitted. and that was when the slurping stopped. silence fell amongst the group. they struggled to even lift their heads up to see nez's reaction. they now knew why the tension was thick when chris arrived. they knew why nez was having an episode this morning.

without saying a word, nez scooted out from her seat, finishing the last of her toast before walking towards the cashier, to pay for hers and her brother's part of the bill. while she spoke to the cashier, xavier's eyes zeroed in on chris.

"yo..." borkis was the first to speak. he kept going back and forth from looking at chris and nez. "am i the only one who thought nez was actually going to stab chris? when she got up, i flinched because i was scared for you bro."

surprisingly, xavier didn't say a word. but then again, not saying anything was saying something.

when nez returned to the table, she spared no attention to the rest of the penetrators. not even to william. she only slung her backpack over her shoulder, announcing to xavier that she would be waiting in the car.

"you know what?" borkis cleared his throat, grabbing his friends' attention. "there's always a good to every situation. and you know what the good in this one is?"

"your bisexual sister doesn't have to hurt herself by pining over a straight girl anymore." julian joined. god, these two were like twins. "i'm pretty sure after this, nez will never talk to roman again."

"yeah, but in the process, she had to find out the disloyalty of chris." william pointed out.

"guys, i fucked up. i know. but do you guys really have to talk shit while i'm right fucking here?" chris rubbed his forehead with a groan.

"do you regret it?" xavier directly asked chris. his voice was surprisingly normal, not the low with the intimidating voice he'd use to scare the shit out of his friends.

"of course i regret it, xavier." chris stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "your sister was one of my best friends."

xavier had his fingers interlocked under his chin, lips pressed in a thin line. xavier shrugged, nodding his head in agreement.

"give her time. this drama's still fresh in her head." xavier answered.

"so, yo-"

xavier held his hand up. "that doesn't mean i'm not pissed at you. what you did was a dick move, but i'm pretty sure you were her closest friend. she's not gonna want to talk to other people after this." xavier left it at that, before excusing him so he could take his sister home.

time and space was what she needed. but chris didn't know if he could give that to her. as selfish as it was, he couldn't bare her being upset with him. she had every right to be upset with him, chris knew that, but he was so selfish.

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23 november, 2017 - unedited

enjoy i guess? happy thanksgiving.

rany.🌻