the divine feminine → chris schistad

fjorten

over the course of a few weeks, nez was completely swarmed with schoolwork. she was in maths one, the class average for her grade. her teacher recommended that she moved into maths two with a bunch of the second years. it was an offer nez couldn't refuse. an extra math credit for free.

chris helped her with her math homework as much as he could, but math wasn't exactly his forte either.

"can we stop now? my head hurts," chris groaned, pulling his hood over his eyes as he leaned back in the library couch. after hours at school was definitely not as fun as it was during school hours.

"here," nez leaned against him as she struggled with reaching into her pocket. she pulled a few krones from her pocket, offering it to him so he'd go to the vending machine and stop complaining.

"you're the best," chris thanked her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. she shoved him off, scrunching her face up as he scattered away with a giggle.

nez stumbled across a math equation she didn't recognize. all the previous equations had used one formula, but from the looks of this one, it didn't look like it'd be the same. she began to rummage through the papers on the coffee table before her, to look for her notes.

while she went through her notes, nez felt her thumb slide across a thicker piece of material. thicker than the thin lined-paper she used. she pulled the parchment from under all the papers and was met by a piece of art.

'the divine feminine' was written at the top center of the piece of paper. it was left uncolored while the entire background was a light shade of pink. then, smack dab in the center was a drawing of a girl with her eyes shut, daydreaming. as nez got a closer look, she realized the daydreamer was actually her.

on the back of the thicker paper were lyrics from the album.

'YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE, AND BABY THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART'

nez smiled to herself, setting the paper back down. she looked to the side and found chris returning from the vending machine. he sent her a wide smile as he held up a few treats he'd obtained.

"what's got you smiling like that?" chris asked as he settled onto the couch beside her.

"the divine feminine," nez answered. chris looked at the table and found his piece of art. a blush spread across his cheeks as he realized that she'd found his art project.

"it's for my art class. we're supposed to recreate the cover to our favorite album and explain why we interpreted it in that way." chris explained to the tanned girl. she nodded her head.

"and i'm here because?"

"because you really don't know how beautiful you are. not even just your physical attributes," chris pointed at the flawless skin of the silhouette on his parchment. "you're daydreaming because you have such a beautiful mind. you let yourself get consumed by thoughts that are so..." chris wiggled his fingers as he struggled to find the words. "divine. which is why you are the divine feminine."

"you're actually the sweetest." nez's cheeks flushed at chris' words. she didn't think he looked at her like that. as a divine female.

it'll be alright babe, see, me i got you covered. i'ma be your lover, you might be the one.

chris let nez lean against him, throwing his arm around the girl. she curled up against him while asking him about the equation she couldn't figure out. he lightly chuckled, sending a vibrating sensation through nez since she was against his chest.

"babe, they all cancel out. look," chris pointed to the square root that was canceled by a squared variable. his larger hand enveloped hers, using her pencil as a pointer as they both figured out the problem.

the discovery of the trick question had ended the study session. they talked about chris' art project, adding small details. she helped him write the essay for the art project as well. nez had a way with words that chris couldn't exactly believe.

they sat in somewhat silence as chris scribbled down ideas on a piece of scrap paper. his free arm was wrapped tightly around nez. she was dozing off and chris didn't help keep her awake as he would occasionally rub her arm, practically lulling her into a light slumber.

"babe?" chris paused his writing and nez slightly opened her eyes, letting them fall shut again before replying with a hum. "can i post the picture borkis took today? the one he took at lunch."

"when you were about to pass out at the stir-fry place?" nez grinned to herself, making chris chuckle as he nodded his head. "you want to post that on instagram?"

"yeah, why not?"

"because the students at nissen are a bunch of judgmental pricks." nez frowned. she had been trying to clear up her comments on her posts that she wasn't gay. the students just kept commenting to the point of where she's had to disable comments on her posts. that didn't stop the direct messages she received. and if she wasn't asked about chris online, it was always in person.

"why do you care so much about what other people say?" chris found himself asking curiously. it was a factor he grew to. she just worried so much sometimes, she wasn't even living.

"i don't." denied nez.

"you do. which is why you filter the stuff you post." chris had caught her. "i'm not trying to call you out hennezy, i'm just saying, you shouldn't care about other people's opinion about you. stop trying to explain something that they can't understand. stop catering to those who don't even matter. you don't even know or hang out with most of the people online, let them speak."

"it's hard not to." nez confessed with a slight frown. "i hear my name in the hallways at least ten times when i walk by to get to class. i get a little curious, you know?"

"don't be curious. they shouldn't be that worried about you like that, but you shouldn't either. don't trip babe." chris was used to the talk by now. he was affected in same way.

when the penetrators was first created and chris was getting talked about all over school, he didn't know how to react. while some part of him wasn't used to it, the other part didn't care too much about what was said about him. people were just going to assume, not taking truth into consideration and he grew used to it, not even wasting time to explain to people.

"post it." nez confirmed in a small voice as she was falling asleep again.

"if you say so," chris was glad he was able to somewhat change her perspective.

her mind was too beautiful for her to be worrying. too beautiful to be invaded by negative thoughts about how she shouldn't live, rather than living it.

"aw, look." chris showed nez his phone. on the screen was the instagram post, which instantly received feedback.

the photo looked good. that was all that mattered, not even the notifications that would pop up indicated comments on the post. while she was really curious, she tried to stray her thoughts away from them, taking chris' advice.

"i adore it." nez smiled at the photo, not seeming to be able to take her eyes off the picture. "send that picture to me."

"of course." chris was already in his messages. when he sent the photo, he stretched in the couch, earning a whine from nez as he shifted from under her. "let's get you home babe."

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15 december, 2017 - unedited