the divine feminine → chris schistad

tjuetre

"nez," mr bradley called. nez looked at the teacher with her utmost attention, though it didn't really help, considering he believed she wasn't paying attention. "since you believe falling asleep in my class is okay, why don't you go ahead and solve this problem for us."

"uh, i wasn't asleep. i was looking down at my notes to make sure i wrote the formula correctly." nez defended. mr. bradley narrowed his eyes at the girl.

"answer the question." he said sharply. "i know, i know, your first week in math 3 can be tough. but if you didn't spend most of your time with a dick in your ass, you'd know that there's no formula needed for this equation." a few gasps were scattered around the room.

nez blinked a few times. had he really said that? she tried to hide the shock that spread on her face. she cleared her throat, standing up from her seat.

all eyes were on her, anticipating her next move.

"mr. bradley, clearly the numbers on the board form a quadratic equation, am i correct?" nez's fingers touched her notebook, straightening it out on her desk. mr. bradley did a double take, eyes scanning over the equation. only then did he notice his mistake.

"yes, ms. guzman you are. please have a se-"

"a quadratic equation is solved using-"

"ms. guzman, i said have a seat-"

"-the quadratic formula, which is as follows; x equals negative b plus-or-minus square root of b-squared minus 4ac, all divided by 2a." she recited without breaking her gaze from mr. bradley.

"nez guzman-"

"so, x equals plus or minus four, square root of 3." she interrupted once more.

the class was dead silent, looking at mr. bradley for a response. instead, it was nez who made the next move.

"mr. bradley, if you are going to assume that i am not paying attention because i am asleep or having too much dick in my life, please consider that just because i'm a first year, does not mean i came to play. obviously there was a reason i was moved in the class." nez's face hardened as she glared at the teacher.

mr. bradley kept his composure, breathing slightly heavily but his appearance was calm. "have a seat, ms. guzman." he spoke more harshly this time.

"actually, i won't." nez retorted, packing her bags, ready to up and leave. "i have better things to do than sit in a class with a bunch of third years and a teacher who just can't seem to have the littlest respect for me."

the only sound that could be heard in the dead silent room was her chair dragging against the floor as she pushed it in her desk. nez didn't spare mr. bradley a look as she exited his classroom.

after entering the hallway, nez let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. she praised herself for speaking all of that without stuttering or choking on her words. she was glad she stood up for herself like that.

there was still about two and a half hours of school left. she didn't want to wait for school to be over. so she started walking home, making sure to shoot a text to her boys.

nez abia
hey x, i'm walking home right now, don't wait for me

the divine feminine💛
don't wait on me after school, i'll be home

and almost instantly, she had an incoming call.

"hello?" answered nez. she kind of knew what to expect.

"are you serious nez? what the fuck are you doing walking home? by yourself?" she rolled her eyes.

"mr. bradley upset me."

"mr. bradley upset you? what did that fucker do?" xavier's voice rang aggressively.

"how are you calling me? aren't you in class?" nez asked, looking over her shoulder, watching her school get smaller and smaller as she walked farther away.

"i'm in p.e. i finished running the pacer test, so we have free time. julian's here too, julian, say hi."

"hi nez! why aren't you in class?" julian asked.

"i can't be in class if i'm walking home." she said as a matter of fact.

"what did mr. bradley do to make you want to walk home?"

"don't worry about it," sighed the first year. "just know, it wasn't my fault. he obviously keeps up with the gossip in school."

"what gossip?" xavier questioned. "what'd he say?"

"don't worry about it." nez repeated. "i'll see you at home, yeah?"

but before he could protest, nez hung up.

the walk home wasn't completely boring. she would have complained if she didn't have her music. it was good thing she had her portable charger along so she could play her spotify playlist while she walked.

granted, she made it home safely. she even pet a dog on the way.

while opening a couple snapchats, nez plopped on the couch. she found herself smiling at a snapchat chris had sent her during class, about how he couldn't stand the presence of anyone and how she needed to rescue him. which was about an hour ago.

nez sent a photo back of her pouting with the caption 'miss u c ):' with the filter of their snapchat streak, which was 62.

sitting back, nez set her phone aside, leaving her mind to wander. she thought about chris, her best friend. she thought about what borkis had said the day before.

your soulmate can be your best friend. your lover can be anyone to you.

there was no doubt that nez and chris had a special bond. no one could understand how close the two had gotten in a matter of months. but that didn't help the fact that there was an underlying tension that neither of them spoke about.

she was almost certain about what she felt for him and the more she came into conclusion, the more scared she felt. not because of what his reputation was, she didn't care about his reputation. nez knew chris and she saw sides of him that went against his reputation.

nez was afraid because these were feelings she didn't think she'd ever feel. and while she enjoyed the adoration she felt that made her heart swell and blush, it was foreign. it wasn't as easy as googling 'how to relationship'. it meant a lot of communication, which she lacked in that department.

holy shit- she liked chris.

of course she knew, of course she'd discovered that. but the initial shock had just hit her.

"i like chris." hennezy muttered to herself. she listened to the way it sounded with her quiet voice. she couldn't help but chuckle and shake her head. "i fancy chris."

and it was like she was practicing it. like she was studying for a test with how often she repeated it. it was like a mantra.

her eyes met the flyer she'd picked up from school. it was about the fall ball. it was in less than two weeks. she knew what she wanted to do. or more importantly, how to ask chris.

///
01 june, 2018 - unedited

holy shit i wrote this back in october.