Remembering You

Chapter 17

I felt bad that I wasn’t in disbelief. I felt bad that I didn’t seemed shocked by Ashton’s statement, but in reality I knew it all along. Swallowing down my own fear I stabbed another strawberry, not eating it, but examining it. He watched my silence hesitantly, but regret wasn’t on his face. I don’t even think it bothered him that he stated affection towards me. A part of him seemed proud, the way he held his head, and the way his posture was erect in confidence. Glancing from the strawberry to Ashton’s gaze I tentatively spoke, “You like me?”  

“Like you?” His voice was melted into a chuckle, “I think I made it clear that I more than like you—more than like you for the past six days.” We’ve only known each other for six days. He shifted in his seat, seeming to uncross his legs under the table and lean forward. This action made me sit back against the chair with my hand still nervously on the table. His voice was like a secret, like it was only our secret, “I know you like me too.” He paused, tempting to continue speaking.

I smiled. I couldn’t help but smile. Everything that Ashton did made me smile. My face was bright red as he explained how he more than liked me. More than liked me for as long as he knew me? How did this happen? Did he see me and just decide at that moment that he liked me? Well I did. I knew when I saw Ashton at Luke’s house that there was something there… to be fair I wasn’t quite sure what. His eyes looked to mine and I could tell he was waiting, waiting for me to give a reaction. Knowing Ashton he was probably going to be happy with two plausible situations: I stutter, blush, and protest that there is nothing between us, or as I’m about to simply state: “Guilty.” I shook my head as I spoke the single word. My hands left the table and went up in defense, “You caught me.” My expression was soft and my cheeks were red. I didn’t feel embarrassed, but I felt giddy.

Breaking into a chuckle, Ashton sat back against the chair and gazed at me as if I was a prize. His eyes shined, and crinkled with his grin. “I knew it. I knew it all along.” Reaching for his scone he finished it off.

Wetting my lips I continued eating the fruit that I had on my plate, “So what does that make us?” My eyes stared down at my fork that picked at different melons.

Ashton watched my movement carefully, “What do you want us to be?” Of course he had to throw the ball into my court.

Looking up to his stare I shrugged, “I asked you first.” My mouth broke into a sly grin.

“You are such a child!” Ashton laughed out, crossing his arms, and mirrored my smile. I giggled at his statement, but he too was being childish.

We were childish in the sense that neither of us had the balls to proclaim something more between us than friends. It was obvious we both wanted to. He looked at me this way that I hadn’t noticed before. Everything I did seemed to fascinate him. I liked that. Ashton was the interesting one, not me. But maybe he felt the same way. Maybe he felt that he was completely uninteresting and that I was some interesting breath of fresh air. This was a weird thought for me: I was interesting.

There was a silence, a long silence, followed by a small jump from Ashton. His eyes went wide and he shifted his weight slightly. Reaching in his back pocket he pulled out his phone to look at the time. His expression fell slightly as the clock read 7:45 a.m. Parting my lips to speak I nervously inhaled, “Is something wrong?” my voice was concerned.  

“Oh,” Ashton spoke as he inhaled, “nothing really.” Glancing up from his phone he smiled. I didn’t smile back. Clearing his throat he patted on his knees and stood up, “I just have to get going...”

My expression fell and my voice came out small, “Oh.” I sounded completely disappointed. My eyes shot down into my lap and I traced nervously into my skin.

Ashton’s chuckle sounded closer than I realized. The sound of his amusement made my attention shift up to where he stood next to me. “You’re going to see me later.” Instinctively I stood up to see him out. He saw me get up and shook his head, nodding to the table. “You stay here… I know where the front door is.”

We lingered. Standing in each other’s presence like we depended each other’s air in order to survive. He swallowed down and his smile seemed to fade for a moment. My expression copied his, and I let out a soft, “Thank you for… breakfast.”

“Thank you—“ Ashton spoke quickly after me, in a very honest tone. Our eyes locked, and his cheeks softly flushed. “—for coming to Luke’s last Saturday.”

Emotion stung through my chest, and sent ice through my veins. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t feel like saying anything, rather my arms just wrapped around his shoulders and neck. As soon as my arms reached around his, his pulled my body along. He held me tight, he held me close. Hands grabbing my waist as we pulled away he examined me with a cautious eye. My lips were parted and I was drawing in slow breaths.

Wetting his lips he then pressed them against my forehead. I closed my eyes, feeling my skin heat, and my heart rise up my throat. “I’ll see you later.” He promised, he pulled away, and immediately started walking back into the house. Not looking back, not waving. He just left, just like that.

And just like that I knew where I was supposed to be.