Remembering You

Chapter 45

I am not going to lie. I was convinced that somehow Ashton and I’s rendezvous was going to come up somehow some way. I was convinced because who gets away with having sex in a house that is on the market? Obviously us. It was like this inside joke too between us. There were like code words that reminded Ashton and I of that evening. One of them was silk. Every time I heard silk I would laugh or smile. I couldn’t help it though. It was the nervous laugh in me. I thought for sure we were going to get caught. But we didn’t.

That’s what made the whole night even more amazing. Is that it was this private little thing that happened between us. It was the riskiest thing I think I have ever done—well—maybe not the riskiest but it was definitely the closest I have come to doing something “bad-ass”. In all honesty it made me feel in a way confident. Confident that I got away with it. This was a nice feeling.

We entered into July. As we entered into the turning month I internally reminded myself that I was getting closer and closer to leaving. This hurt me. On the outside though I was alive with the excitement of being with the boys nearly every second of everyday.

Life since the dinner has been… different. Ashton and I occasionally stop by the Bennett’s for dinner or brunch to say hey. I never wanted to say long because the house bothered me. Personally I went out with Felicity to go get our hair or nails done. Ashton didn’t mind as long as I let him know what was going on. It bothered me a little that he had this leash on me, but part of me couldn’t blame him… after what happened? I would have a leash on me too.

I had been working at the Pony Club for a week now. A good week. Ashton drops me off in the early afternoons and I spend my time helping the trainers with the horses. It was nice because they needed more bodies in the barn to help with different camp events. My two favorite things: kids and animals. It was fun. After working with the kids I got to ride which was in every way therapeutic. I missed riding. I started to miss my life back in the states. But I didn’t miss the old life I had, I just missed the place.

When it was time to pick me up it was usually Ashton or Calum who would pick me up, and for the majority of this week it was Calum. When Calum picked me up, Calum took me to get ice cream. Every time. It was almost expected by now. We would sit in the Dairy Queen with our blizzards or cones and just chat. We planned what we wanted to do that night or what we wanted to do on the weekend. But mostly we just aimlessly talked.

The only real centralized conversation we had was about Ashton’s birthday. It was coming up on the 7th which was coming up soon. It was going to be big, and Calum really took care of it as well as a few other people. I didn’t have time to physically plan with them, but Calum kept me in the loop. It was going to be a party… huge party. But who parties on a Monday? I guess we do now…

Today was different though from every other day. I woke up and I felt a little off. I had this feeling occasionally but I’d just brush it off. Ashton had to drop me off early at the club because Ashton has to go see his grandmother with his family today. I pouted a little. I wanted to meet his grandmother! It made me emotional that I couldn’t go with him and his family. Of course Ashton made fun of me for being emotional. That didn’t help.

I got to the Pony Club and still had the uneasy feeling in my stomach. I was nauseous. Nauseous to the point where it was painful. Trying to figure out what it was I made my way to the bathroom, trying to avoid people. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone today. When in the bathroom I went into a stall and glanced down at my stomach. I looked at my belt and started unbuckling it. The pressure went off my stomach and that made me feel a little bit better. My hand went and moved across my stomach under my clothing. I groaned slightly.

What did I eat today? Toast… toast and orange juice. Two pieces of toast, some fruit, and orange juice. Okay that was good… Was it something I ate yesterday? No. I didn’t have anything that would upset my stomach. I also didn’t drink last night at this small party so it wasn’t a hangover sickness. Ew. Now I was thinking about alcohol. I was thinking about how it tasted and how it smelt.