Let's be real here for a moment. I'm not bullshitting this one away. I haven't been honest with you, really.
I'm not happy. I'm not a happy person. I'm smiling, yes, but I'm not happy. That smile doesn't define me.
Help me out here, is it convincing, my smile? When you see it, do you think "Wow, he's got his shit together," or "He looks so happy,"?
No
No one thinks like that. No one thinks like that because it's all shit.
Is anyone happy? I've never really been the happy type, or at least I can't remember a time where I was. I guess I'm just good at masking my feelings.
How many time have I attempted suicide? If I told you the number, you'd not believe me. How many cuts do I have engraved in my skin? Too many to count. How many pills have been consumed without a medical reason? Doesn't matter.
What does matter? Not a thing. Not a fucking thing. Because it's my time, and I'm leaving. I'm sorry to the fans, the band, and you. I'm sorry.
But this is goodbye.
YOU ARE READING
She Looks So Perfect
FanfictionLove isn't for everyone {cover picture by the real-life inspiration for the character Cailey}
