She Looks So Perfect

Chapter Twenty-One

Calum's POV

What do I do now? I've expressed my love for her; I've shown her how I really feel. She seems to accept it, and feel at least slightly the same way. But what do I do now? It seems like such a quick move, asking her out already. Just days ago we were sat across from each other discussing my fondness for Angelica.

I want her. I want to be with her. I want her to feel for me like I've felt for her all these years. But I want her to realize it before it's too late; because I feel like I've done just that.

My thoughts have been all over the place since the night I serenaded her down from her window. What if she doesn't feel the same? What if she's just feeling sorry for me, and doesn't know how to turn me down softly? I don't want to inconvenience her; I don't want to be lied to.

When my thoughts eat at me like this, anxiety pools inside of me and I can't help but feel sorry for myself. The voices overcome me, and I can't escape them. I find myself crying, screaming, hitting, harming.

She asked to come over, her emotions seemingly negative. I of course accepted her self-invitation.

"Cal," she said nervously once she had arrived.

"Lexi," I said in return.

"Something with Michael has come up, and you're not going to like it."

She's in love with Michael. She doesn't want me. They've been in the spotlight for almost a year, and I know there are real life feelings.

"What is it?" I played it off calmly.

"Management. They..." she trailed off, leaving me on the edge.

~

"So how are you and Alexza?" the interviewer questioned Michael. I had to hide my hatred for these questions.

"We're good. Actually, there's something we need to announce," he said, a smirk approaching his mouth, "Do you mind if I bring her out?" He asked the interviewer, looking to the people backstage as she arose from her seat.

"Of course, get her out here!" We were on Sunrise, the morning news show in Australia.

Alexza approached Michael, smiling her beautiful smile. She looked at me briefly before looking back to Michael with wide eyes, "Do you want to tell them?" He asked, seemingly infatuated with her, lost in her eyes, "No, you should do it," She had replied.

"Alright, well, uh, yesterday we went to the doctors, and it seems as if we are pregnant!"

What? This is what she was talking about the day before. She wasn't able to tell me, her emotions spilling over as she ended up sobbing in my arms as I had no idea what management had wanted from her. But now I know.

Pregnant. My sweet Alexza, whom I'd finally realized my love for, impregnated by my fellow band member. I didn't know how to feel.

I was numb, my body and mind were numb. The other boys were up hugging and cheering, smiling away. But I was not.

I had seen this coming, a bigger and better opportunity for her arising as soon as I spoke my mind. But I didn't know it would end up being my best friend taking her from me.

They sat back down, calming themselves as Alexza swept past me to get backstage once again. Pregnant. With Michael's baby.

"Wow, pregnant! Are you ready for such a responsibility?"

"It's definitely going to be a challenge, but I know we can do it," Michael responded.

"And how do you boys feel about all of this?"

Luke spoke up first, "We've just learned this information as you have, but I'm excited. I think Michael can do it, and Alexza is strong. I'm happy for them."

"I can't wait to be an uncle!" Ashton sounded, a chuckle escaping from deep within him.

Luke nudged me, "What about you, Calum?" He asked.

It took me some time to gather the strength and willpower not to storm out of the office, to punch Mike in the face. No one knew about my infatuation with Alexza, but I somehow expected them to, "I'm happy for them. Alexza is going to make a great mum."

That wasn't a lie. Alexza is mum material. I was just hoping I would be the father.