She Looks So Perfect

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter 25

Alexza's POV

"he says he knows enough

and because of that

he loves me

does he know

that i chew my nails

when im nervous?

or that I'm still afraid

of the dark?

does he know that

i cant stand the

thought

of him with

someone else?

what about how

i forget my keys...

inside the car.

does he know

my thoughts

are constantly

consumed

by the thoughts

of how this

beautiful relation

wont ever be perfect?

how bad im into

making sure all

women get their

rights

or the amount

of money i

give to the homeless?

does he know that

i often forget

how lucky i am

and that he doesn't

have to stay

how i lose control

when things

end badly

or the way

i look into his eyes.

the way i lose

sleep

just thinking

how every word

in a poem

means something.

does he know that

i love him too

and even when

i say im mad

i just have

nothing else

to say.

does he know

that i forget

were only

human?

all this time

i was worried

about his thoughts

when i was getting

Lost

in my own"

That was the first thing Angelica ever wrote about Calum. At the time, I didn't understand it. But now that I've seen him like she did, wonderful and lustfully insane, I understand it. Now that he's treated me like he did her, like his own personal queen, I understand it. Now that I've noticed all of his perfect imperfections, his stray freckles and mildly sweaty palms, I understand it.

I understand her infatuation with him. I realize her endless flow of love and why it was truly endless. I love this man just as she did, and I pray to God she forgives me for this.

The first song Angelica wrote for me (she was my song writer) was about eternal love. Though it didn't apply to my life, I recorded it with the most passion I could come up with. If I could record it over again, or perform it once more, you would hear the difference in emotion. Now I know what it feels like to love someone and not want to let them go.

There's a problem with this scenario though, I'm pregnant with Michael's baby. How the hell is this supposed to work out?