I am Ethan. (COMPLETE)

Ethan's past

A/N: trigger warning- rape

"So Elizabeth, what do you want to do?" I looked at him. Justin was my boyfriend at the time. He was everything I thought I wanted. Tall, handsome, brave. But really he was an ugly, cowardly monster. "I thought you invited me over to play video games?" I asked. "Well yeah but we could do something else." He used his index finger and traces my arm. I didn't like him touching me. "Um no thanks Justin. I just want to play some video games. I'm kinda tired and I have a lot of homework to do." I made up that excuse. I knew what he really wanted I won't let him have it. "Come on Eliza! Just have a little fun with me." He pleaded. "No justin!" I said. "Elizabeth don't you love me?" "Of course I do." I was naive. "Do you trust me?" "Absolutely." I should have said no. "Then let me make love to you. That's the way I can show you my love." I thought about what he said, but I should save ran. "Justin we're too young. And you save that stuff for marriage." He didn't like that answer. His eyes shifted from soft to stone cold. He grabbed my arm and pinned me to the wall. "Listen here Elizabeth!" He punctuated it with a pull and push of my arm. "I want to fuck you and I'm going to! You can't say no to me! I'm the only person who even gives a damn about you! So either I can fuck you or I'll tell everyone about you're little secret!" I regret telling him I was considering transitioning. I wish I would have slapped him away from me or something. I wish I didn't let him rape me.

I woke from my nightmare and began to cry. Why did I let that happen? Why didn't I tell someone? It's too late now. That was a year ago. It's hopeless. I'm hopeless. I looked at my clock and it read "6:38." School started at 7 but I don't think I could mentally get through today. Not after the nightmare and what happened yesterday. "Aunt Cas!" I yelled. "Yes?" She yelled back. "Can I stay home?" I asked. I heard her shoes clicking up the stairs. She appeared in front of me in record time. "Are you sick?" She asked checking my forehead for a fever. "No I just don't think I can mentally make it through today." I said. She removed her hand from my head. "Ok you can take a mental healing day today. I have work so behave and call me if anything happens. My number is on the land line." She walked downstairs and resumed preparing to leave. I went back to my bed and went back to sleep.