Love and Loss

Four

Avi's POV

Once the hangovers cleared, the band gathered for a meeting in Scott and Mitch's hotel room. I kept sneaking guilty glances at Kirstie, who was staring awkwardly down at her hands. The conversation went on for a while without me paying attention.

I just felt so... guilty.

She just lost her grandmother and I basically took advantage of her. Granted we were both ridiculously drunk, but still.

Who does that to their friend? And colleague? I mean, we work together for Christ's sake. If it's awkward between us, it'll project badly for Pentatonix.

And it'll be my fault.

"Avi!" Mitch said. I looked up and noticed Kirstie look quickly back down. Had she been looking at me? I hadn't realized. "What's up with you? And Kirst?" He asked. Kirstie flinched when her name was said. "I mean, you two haven't said a word to each other – or us – all day."

"I... um..." I said. I didn't want to tell them. Would Scott and Mitch get angry? Maybe they would hate me for taking advantage of their best friend... "I... uh... um... I just... ugh!" I groaned in frustration. Kevin exchanged a concerned glance with Scott and Mitch.

Kirstie didn't even look up.

"Avi?" Kevin asked. "What's the matter?"

"I... just... it's just..." I trailed off. I stood up and began walking towards the door of the hotel room.

"Where are you going?" Scott called.

"I just need some air." I said, slamming the door behind me as I stepped out the door. I took a deep breath and took my beanie off, running my hand through my hair. I then began quickly walking towards the elevator. I didn't know where I was going. I just... I needed fresh air.

I needed to be out somewhere, away from Kirstie.

I couldn't stand what I'd done to her.

It's not like I raped her or anything. She was plenty willing. But she was drunk. She didn't know what was going on.

My brain abandoned the fact that I was drunk as well.

My fault... all my fault...

Kirstie's POV

"What was that about?" Mitch asked. I kept nervously wringing my hands. They were going to start asking questions. They were going to want to know. I couldn't even explain to them. I just... I didn't want to. Jeremy was so nice. I thought maybe we had a future as boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe even... more. And now I'd gone and slaughtered that.

Plus, the whole band was going to find out some sometime, somehow. It was only a matter of time.

I realized I had begun to gasp and splutter for breath. The band was looking at me with concerned faces. It took me a minute, but I got myself under control. "Kirst... are you okay?" Mitch was the first to speak.

No.

"Yeah."

"Do you know what was going on with Avi?" Scott asked.

Yes...

"Nope."

"Do you know that we know you're lying?" Kevin questioned.

Crap!

"I'm not lying!" I protested.

"Yes, you are." Mitch said. "And if you don't fess up, I'll tickle you."

I couldn't tell them. No. There was no way in hell that I was going to tell the truth.

"IkindofhadsexwithAvi," I said. So much for the 'not telling them anything' plan.

No one said anything. I could see them judging me. It was horrible. I felt like such a slut. I didn't stop for a moment to think about what Avi must've been going through.

"You..." Mitch said. Scott looked angry. At me, no doubt. I was so stupid. I let my emotions get the better of me, got drunk, and now look where I was.

"Did he force you?" Scott blurted. Everyone looked up at him with wide eyes.

"What? No! It was just... we were both drunk..." I trailed off. "You know Avi wouldn't do that, Scott. He's too nice."

"Nice?" Scott asked. "Nice? He knew you were drunk!"

"Scott listen, please. He didn't do anything bad to me, I swear!"

Scott stood up and started going for the door. "Scott what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm finding him!" He yelled. The door shut with a loud BANG!