Love and Loss

Nineteen

Kirstie's POV

Jeremy got a nurse and I was taken away from him.. He needs to be here. I can't do this alone.. I just can't! 

"Wait I need him!" I panted. One nurse nodded and ran to get him. She came back quickly and he ran next to me.

"It's okay. I'm right here." He took my hand and held it. It was a bad idea of course... 

"I'm so sorry.." I said through gritted teeth. I was squeezing the dear life out of his hand. 

"No pain no gain..." He sounded hurt. 

"I'm sorry babe.." I whispered. 

"Kirstin, you're too early.." The doctor said. "Get a place ready in the NICU stat." I heard him say to another nurse.

"NICU? What's that?" Jeremy asked.

"I'll explain later. Kirstin, I need you to listen to me right now." I looked at the doc and waited. "This baby is early. So I need this to go smoothly. Okay?" 

"Okay.." I whispered. 

"We need you out." The doctor said to Jeremy.

"What? No! He has to stay! I need him!" I cried. A few nurses took Jeremy out of the room and he turned back to me and mouthed, 'I love you'. "Love you too..." I whispered. 

-

Jeremy's POV

I've waited for hours for someone to tell me either of them were alright... I called Avi and told him that Kirstie was having the baby. It seemed appropriate to tell him at least.

He was pretty shocked, but then wished me luck. I thanked him and hung up. 

~a few hours later~

I couldn't take it anymore... I was about to ask the front desk about her condition when the doctor came out. 

"Mr. Lewis?" He called.

"Yes?" I walked over to him and waited. 

"Kirstin and the baby dealt with complications.." He started. There it is. One of them is hurt.. Or worse dead. Just great. 

If Kirstie's dead.. I don't know what I would do... The baby needs a mom... Not a single dad.... If the baby is dead... God I can't even think of that... Kirstie would be devastated... I would be hurt too... I.. I want to be a dad..

"The baby had to be placed in the NICU. She has to be monitored carefully and can't leave until she is at a safe weight and height." He explained while putting his hand on my shoulder. 

"What about Kirstie?" I asked.

"She.... Has to.. Well.." He seemed lost.. 

"Please tell me that she's alive.." I pleaded.

"She needs to be monitored as well. This was a very difficult birth, and it caused a lot of suffering on both. She's sedated and under heavy medication for the break." 

"Break?" I asked.

"When a baby is born, a woman's hips split so that way the baby can be pushed through. Her's.. Weren't big enough to... Do such a thing yet.... She'll be fine in the long run of course." 

"So she's okay?" 

"Very much so."

"You said.. The baby.. Is a girl?" 

"Yes. Would you like to see?" 

"Please.." He led me into another area and up the elevator. I followed him through a hall and he stopped in front of a glass window. A nurse looked up and smiled. He walked over to an incubator and pointed. 

"That's her." The doc smiled. 

"She's.. So tiny..." I whispered. Pink, wrinkly... And perfect... 

"Yeah.. Welcome to parenthood." He chuckled. "Did you two pick a name?" 

"No.. We didn't... But.. I know of one." 

"What will hers be? Remember, she's stuck with it." 

"Aiyana.." I smiled. Eternal blossom. She will always be the perfect first part of a flower. The shy, almost open, perfect part... 

"That's.. A really nice name." He smiled. 

"Sir, Kirstin is awake." A nurse said. I need to see her now..

Kirstie's POV

I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a different room.. I looked down and didn't see a giant belly anymore.. Where was Jeremy? More importantly, where's my baby?!

"Ah, you're awake." The doctor smiled. 

"Where's my baby?" I asked while trying to sit up. A huge pain shot through my lower half and I wanted to cry.

"Kirstin, you need to stay laying down. You got hurt while delivering. Your baby girl is fine. And he is here to see you." I looked behind him and saw Jeremy. 

"Kirst.." He ran over and wrapped his arms around me. "I saw her.. She's perfect and tiny." He whispered.

"She's early.. Is she okay?" I asked the doctor.

"She's on oxygen. She has to stay until she's healthy." 

"But she's okay?" 

"Yes.. I'll leave you two alone." He left me with Jeremy and I looked at him.

"We need to name her..." I whispered.

"I already did.." Jeremy hesitated.

"What?" I asked.

"Aiyana." He smiled. "It seemed to fit.."

"It's wonderful." I laughed. "Perfect like she will be."