Turned

Chapter Six

I walked home behind Matt, he opened the door and let himself in, sitting down on our sofa.

"Sit" he ordered as he pointed.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I have a list of questions" he admitted.

"You have a list? Well, so do I! I don't know what just happened!" I snapped but I sat down, I didn't have many choices... just confusion, so much confusion and so much pain, too much pain.

He sat, looking at me, I'd never seen him stare so much. He gave me a tissue, wet with water so I could clean my hands and face, he'd seen me at my worst and I still wanted him there, despite what I guessed I'd become. It wasn't difficult to guess what I'd become, a monster known as a vampire, a blood thirsty beast. I guessed it, pieced it together, I had to.

"Ask, I'll do my best to answer... just don't... don't be afraid of me... please" I asked like a child frightened of his father's words.

"How long?"

"What?" I asked.

"How long have I been living with a... a..."

"You can say the word, I won't burst into flames" I promised.

"You didn't answer the question" Matt commented with a little worry in his voice.

"Days, literally... since I went missing... I don't remember much... nothing visual but a smell, it keeps haunting me"

He nodded once and sat still so I couldn't read him. He knew me too well but I could see his brain working, it was written on his face, he had questions but feared me... feared the answer to those questions. I sat, facing him, my body turned to the side as I watched him, his every move, his gaze, his eyes burning into me.

"You still have questions?" I asked.

"Is it... still you? Are you still you now?"

"I like to think so, I have noticed subtle changes, not in my personality"

"Sunlight?" he asked me.

"I do not know... I have not tried to be out in it yet, I don't feel threatened by it but that might not mean much"

"How did it happen to you?"

"I don't know" I admitted. I sighed and bit my lip before I spoke. "I was... drunk, I think... when I went home that night. I didn't know what was happening... I barely remember it... I wish I did but I don't... I wish I could stop them from killing other people"

He seemed surprised by my comment but he deserved the truth, not a half-baked lie hidden in between the pages, something concocted to make him stay or go, that was his choice, I'd accept it either way, knowing I'd have to. If he wanted to leave, I couldn't stop him going, if he wished to stay, I'd let him but be unaware of the path ahead, whether I'd go in his place.

Part of me wanted him to get up and walk away, to turn around and forget me, forget it all and live his life, settle down and start a family, to leave me in the past but that was fear talking, the idea of hurting him, biting him... it unsettled me. I wouldn't have cared about the muggers, I'd have happily drank their blood but looking at Matt, I didn't imagine dinner... I couldn't bring myself to imagine it.

"What about holy words?"

"Like God? I can say them, hear them, it doesn't matter to me"

"Good" he replied.

"How is that good? You don't go to church"

"No, but I don't want you burning alive when my mother recites her prayers over dinner in two weeks' time"

"You're staying"

"First, we need to set some rules. First one, no killing people, I don't care who they are or what they've done, you don't kill them and you get to do the dishes for a month"

"That it?"

"Pretty much considering I'm trusting you with my life, if you give me reason not to, I'll leave" Matt promised as he got up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Bed, I need some sleep... you might want to too, you look a little... rough"

I shrugged my shoulders and headed to my room. I didn't care about sleep, I cared about my friendship with Matt, he was a good man, a good friend and a good person and I felt like he deserved better than a person like me, if I could, by the laws of nature, even continue to call myself a person, after what I'd become, the monster I was forced to become.

I couldn't remember the face or name of the person who made me, only guess they were female, wearing lavender and jasmine, scents I used to hate yet brought me an odd sense of comfort, freedom.

One thing I was surprised by was my hunger, it wasn't like I expected, I thought it would be... monstrous, that I'd be ravenous but I was surprisingly calm for someone so monstrous but whatever I'd become, I had my humanity, I was clinging on while the vampire stamped on my fingers with their boots but still, I clung, I held on, I had to.

What I hoped would make it harder to give up or in was his faith in me. He saw the very worst yet still he didn't turn away, he just asked me not to do something he knew I wouldn't anyway. Killing people wasn't something I wanted to do, it wasn't something I wanted to consider, despite it apparently being a monster's nature to hunt, to kill.

There were many things I was curious about, many things I was yet to discover. Was I turning until I fed? Was I able to turn back until I fed or was I damned from the moment she made me? So many questions yet so few answers offered, just silence, painful silence.

One thing was for sure, I was convinced I was being led to the place I found, called to it, why I didn't know but I wasn't going to go alone, if Matt was up for it. The last thing I wanted was to put him in danger, to tempt fate and watch him die so I wasn't going to let that happen.