Turned

Chapter Thirty Four

Home was dull. I couldn't stop thinking about Matt, his offer or Nick... how he left because of Leo, the one I wanted as my first kill. If I wasn't in control, I would've killed him, I'd have taken pleasure in killing him and that scared me, more than anything else I'd been through in my life. For some reason, he was higher on the list than my parents, my father who beat the shit out of me, my mother who just watched, who threw her 'abomination' out. Her son, the so-called abomination, the so-called monster. If she could see me now, she'd see just what kind of monster I'd become, something I did enjoy the idea of.

If I went back, it would be to knock on their door, to see their faces and... take their lives, probably be considered merciful, a sweet mercy killing compared to what I could give them by living, by making them live, after all, they'd have to live knowing that their son is an abomination, according to them.

I saw the vampire as an abomination, the monster as one but not myself... never myself. I wasn't the abomination, I was as I was created, a homosexual man who believed his soulmate was another man, someone he could love and be loved by.

I didn't see a problem with it, nor did Lena. When I left, she followed and neither of us looked back, only she had money put into her accounts, left untouched, birthday and Christmas cards left unopened in a pile, all because of me, my 'corruption'.

I sat on the sofa, opposite Matt as he wolfed down some garlic bread, washing it down with a can of beer. I rolled my eyes as he offered me a slice then immediately pulled it away.

"Sorry" he said with a slight, embarrassed smile.

"I can eat garlic" I explained.

"Oh... I thought"

"A rumour, along with fearing crosses, not being able to cross running water, sunlight and mirrors"

"So, the bat thing?"

"Never even... tried, I wouldn't know where to start" I replied jokingly, making him laugh. 

"You look happier" he said with a smile as I nicked a piece of garlic pizza bread. I bit into it, gasping as it burnt my tongue but I thanked my gift of healing. I didn't need it, I'd have been fine but I thanked life for having it, in case I did need it for more... major things.

"I feel it" I admitted.

"Jack... are you two..."

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Fine but you'd be doing the same to me and you know it"

"Being in a relationship... it was complicated, a lot of things I had to sort, shit that could trip me up at a moment's notice... I didn't want to lose... control while I was with him"

"Okay, okay, spare me the details, I've heard enough when he was here"

"Sorry about that" I replied.

"As you said, it was payback"

"That might've been a little unfair" I replied in defeat.

He didn't say anything, nothing cruel or shameful or helpful and sweet, there was just an unusual silence.

"How's the... thirst going?"

"I'm trying to control it... with no... no chance of hot and heavy nights, there's no point returning to the vampires for a blood boost"

"The frightening thing is, this conversation is starting to sound normal to me... scary" Matt joked playfully, I could tell by his goofy smile as he looked at me. "So, no more...?"

"No, no more drinking... not vampire blood" I explained.

"I suppose that's good" Matt commented.

"Not quite... vampire hunters have been spotted here... if they see me... I'm in shit, a lot of shit... it seems they kill first and never bother to question... I don't want to put you in danger... so..."

"I'm not leaving" Matt interrupted.

"I was going to say, so I'm going to keep myself topped up with blood so I can relax, even around them, if they even find me"

"What are we going to do?" Matt asked.

"I'm not staying in the house while they march up and down the city, this is my home too and I won't let them take it away from me, I want to be social, to put myself out there and... live, I might be immortal but that doesn't mean I want this lifetime to be a shit one" I explained stubbornly.

"And if they find you?"

"They won't, I have a real name, a real birth certificate, friends and family... I'm not likely to be a target... as long as I just work in Nightshade... they employ humans so it won't be a massive stretch"

"Are you telling me because you're scared?" Matt questioned.

"No, I don't want to hide anything from you" I admitted. 

Again, came the silence as I sat down on the sofa, covered in garlic oil. I stunk to high heaven, cursing my sensitive senses. The smell was nearly unbearable, it made me want to rip my shirt off and throw it in the washing machine or just burn it so it so the smell died with it. 

I got up and threw off my shirt. "I stink, I need a new shirt" I explained.

"I need a shower and by the way, stop leaving your dirty washing everywhere, I'm not going to pick it up!" I heard as I riffled through my drawers for a decent t-shirt.

The doorbell rang. "Can you get that?" I asked but heard nothing. "MATT, I AM HALF-NAKED, CAN YOU PLEASE GET THAT?!" I shouted but again heard nothing. I sighed in defeat as I struggled to pull my shirt on as I opened the door, stopping dead in my tracks as Nick stood there, looking at me with a sweet smile. "Nick, are you okay? Has something happened? Come in before you catch your death"

"Thank you" Nick replied as he walked in.

"Did you get the door?" Matt asked in a white towel.

"Oh... sorry, did I...?"

"He was taking a shower" I explained.

"Together?" Nick asked.

"No... he and I... no, we're like brothers and I'm straight" Matt explained as he ran into his bedroom. 

"Because that isn't awkward" I commented. I looked into Nick's eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry about Leo... he was disgusting... I... I never meant for him to drive you away... I..."

"Drive me away? What? No... I had to go, I had to sort something out, I wanted to stay but... I couldn't... you thought? No, not at all, I'm not going to be driven away by his actions, only yours can drive me away"